Chapter 12

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nathans pov

"don't." she whispered as my lips were an inch from hers, I froze. "shit." swore Tom, I pulled away and saw all the boys frowning at us. I was on the couch and Ellen was next to me. I had my arm around her shoulder and she was cuddling up with me.

I opened my eyes and looked right into hers and I could see they were filled with fear. "trust me." I whispered and reached up. I saw her flinch as I cupped her cheek in my hand. I ran my thumb over her cheek and she shuddered, but didn't pull away.

"I'm going to kiss you now." I said, her eyes went wide and I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips to hers. It felt amazing, everything I'd hoped it would be. Just like I'd wanted to when the three girls had walked into our dressing room an hour ago. She was stiff under me as I pulled back and looked at her. "see, it's ok, I'm never going to hurt you." I whispered and stroked her cheek. "shower? shower?" she stuttered, and she was terrified. I nodded and she shot off the couch and into the bathroom.

I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. "dam." said Tom, I nodded. "dam is right." I replied. "she let you kiss her." stated jay, I nodded and blew out my breath. The door to the bathroom opened and Ellen was leaning against it in a towel. "Ellen." I whispered, she gave me a half smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

I was scared I'd pushed it to far and that I'd abused her trust. She walked over and straddled my waist and touched my neck and she leaned against my chest and hugged me. We'd been working on this for so long. She could touch me all she wanted, but I could only touch her every now and then when she was feeling brave.

I kept my arms around the back of the couches even though I wanted to reach out and hug her so bad. "thank you." she whispered against my neck. "for what?" I asked. "for being you, for putting up with all my shit, for being the most understanding person, I've ever met in my life, for...everything," she whispered and looked into my eyes.

She leaned down and kissed me and I froze. No one moved as she laid a light kiss on my mouth, then another, and another. I was scared to do anything, scared that she'd stop. I lightly kissed her back and I flicked my tongue over her bottom lip, she shuddered and pulled back. She rested her forehead on mine and looked into my eyes.

"I think, I love you." she whispered, I froze as soon as she said that. "what?" I asked. "I...I think...I think I am completely and utterly in love with you, Nathan sykes." she whispered, I gritted my teeth. "oh god, you don't want me." she shrieked as she saw my expressing and she was about to jump off me, when I automatically reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her against me.

She started shaking a little and there was fear in her eyes again. "no!" I said. "I want you so much, but I'm trying to do what you say! I want to touch you more then I want my next breath, but I don't want to scare you away." I whispered, I could see the fear starting to take over her eyes and cloud her mind. I instantly let her go and she jumped up and slid down a wall, pulling her knees into her chest and looked at us boys.

"when's siva getting back?" she asked. "soon, he and the girls just went to talk to the management about you girls coming on camera with us." said tom, she nodded and shuddered. She stood up and started towards the change room when I saw a purple line on the back of her leg. "Ellen, what's on your leg?" I asked, she looked down at it. "scar." she said. "from what?" I asked, she shrugged. "belt, whip, crop, ruler, whatever they had on them when they decided to beat me." she said and went to get dressed.

We were all dead silent. "Nathan I can't believe she just..." started jay, I nodded. "I know, I know." I said, we sat in silence until the door opened and siva walked in. "hey boys." said siva. "oh my god seev, you should have been here, Nathan kissed Ellen." said max. "what?" asked siva. "then Ellen had a shower, told Nathan she loved him and kissed him." added jay.

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