Sugar|kryoz

eight

late night
movies
carless
drinking
to cover these scars

Sarah and John often didn't have much to do when he wasn't editing videos and Sarah wasn't at work. it'd result in chatting or they'd watch a movie or youtube. some nights the conversations stayed on topic the entire time, other times, they'd jump everywhere, from talking about cooking to what colour of crayon was the best (John thought it was Mac and Cheese, just for the name itself).

there were some nights that Sarah would teach John to cook, guiding his hands as he chopped up food and instructing him not to stop stirring and such when making a sauce.

"I've been meaning to ask this," Sarah said, sucking in a breath. it was midnight, she was cooking some mac and cheese for the two of them, who hadn't been hungry until now, because their sleep schedule had been collectively fucked. "why did you guys come to the apartment?"

"I heard the conversation with Zach," John admitted. "I thought something was up, but I didn't anticipate walking into that," he explained to her. she nodded. "Craig is the reason I went. he thought the worst as well, so, we both kind of jumped into action."

"well, thank you for that," she says. "I wasn't planning on telling you guys. but that was the first time he'd hit me."

"You said that in court," he told her. "I never wanted to ask what else he did to you."

Sarah stopped stirring the pasta and took in a slow, deep breath. "he gave me a set of rules, I had to follow them. wear lingerie to bed, have sex with him whenever he wanted," she explained. "I couldn't tell anyone, or I'd get a worse punishment. I guess that... I guess hitting me was worse."

"Sarie..." John muttered, his eyes wide. "You could've told any of us, me, Kugo, Jay, Craig-"

"I know," she said softly. "But I didn't because I didn't want him to hurt you guys too."

"He wouldn't have gotten the chance-"

"John, you know me," she cuts him off, making him jump at how aggressive her voice was. "You've known me," she says again. "I didn't just go along with what he said because I'm a pushover. You know that."

"Yeah..." he muttered. "So?"

"One night, he totally changed. he took a bottle of beer and threatened to smack it over my head. he was drunk, I thought, so I didn't think a lot of it, then he started screaming at me that he was going to get his gun." Sarah swallowed deeply, trying to repress tears that wanted badly to slide down her cheeks. "I didn't give him the chance, but he hung that over my head. saying if anyone showed up asking about me, he'd cut me, he'd shoot me." she inhaled and dumped out the pot into a strainer, "so I didn't say anything. let it happen. but it's okay now, and has been for nearly four months. I just gotta keep reminding myself that it's okay, you know?"

"yeah."

Sarah hummed as she finished up making the food for her and her stunned roommate.

The two ate in silence that night.

and Sarah thought in the back of her mind that she'd absolutely fucked everything up.