Caught in the Grey {Dragon Age: Origins}

The Harrowing

"Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him."

A single sentence that's been embedded into everything we mages do as we lived here in the Circle Tower. To remind us to not step over the boundaries we've been given. To remind us of our place.

Not that I cared much about that fact. The only thing that really did bother me was being trapped in the tower. My whole life was destined to be in the tower until I die of old age -or worse- never to see Ferelden for what it had to offer. All because I was born a mage.

"Thus spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruled by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruin." Ser Greagoir, Knight-Commander of the templars here in Ferelden, droned on and paced slowly in front of me; as if every mage here didn't know the story by heart by now. I looked past Greagoir and at First Enchanter Irving who stood calmly, his hands behind his back and his soft eyes watching me... As I'm sure the rest of the templars who were stationed around the room were also watching me through the slits of their helmets making them seem more intimidating. The only Templar who wasn't wearing a helmet besides Greagoir was Cullen. The only templar I get along with to be put simply. We spoke to one another when chance arose, though it never lasted long being mages and templars weren't to be necessarily seen fraternizing with each other. Mortal enemies and all that rubbish. I raised a brow as I flicked my golden hued eyes to Greagoir and back to Irving, my way of saying: "get a load of this guy." Irving gave me a ghost of a smile, barely there but his brown eyes shone with amusement. "Your magic is a gift, but it's also a curse... For demons of the dream world- The Fade- are drawn to you, and seek to use you as a gateway into this world."

"This is why the Harrowing exists. The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a demon, armed with only your will." Irving explained, taking a few steps towards me so he was standing near Greagoir. That I did not know. We're not told what's to come of the Harrowing or what it entails. Only that we need to pass the test in order to be promoted from apprentices to official mages.

"And what will happen should I fail to defeat said demon?" I couldn't help asking. I'm sure I knew the answer to that but for my own assurance I wanted to hear it out loud. Both Irving and Greagoir gave me a grim look before the latter spoke.

"It will turn you into an abomination and the templars will be forced to slay you." Greagoir cleared his throat and his light blue eyes trailed over to Cullen, dragging both the First Enchanter's and my attention to him. The newly adult blond shifted uncomfortably, his suit of armor clinking as he did. He glanced up at me and I saw the many emotions in his expression, even if he was trying to hide them; I saw it clearly. Shame. Guilt.

My heart sank in realization. "I see..." They had chosen Cullen to be the one that puts me to the blade. My executioner. It made me wonder if they had known how close we are.

"That is lyrium." Greagoir spoke up, interrupting my thoughts. "The very essence of magic and your gateway into the Fade."

My brows furrowed, my mind still reeling with questions. "Why keep the Harrowing a secret? If we get sent into the Fade with the sole purpose of facing a demon then shouldn't we be told beforehand to prepare?"

"The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity, child." Irving said, putting a hand on my shoulder as a way to assure and comfort me. It was a bit unsettling seeing how tall Irving was even though he's an elderly man. "Every mage must go through this trial by fire. As we succeeded, so shall you."

I gave him a wry face, my brows still sewn together. I couldn't help but worry. Being sent into the Fade... That's a life-threatening risk. Irving's only told me about the Fade apart from all the books I've read on it in the library. There's many anomalies in there- too many for comfort. "How do you know, First Enchanter?" I asked in a hushed whisper.