Is it Love Daryl? Family Ties

Chapter 12 Jewel's POV Living the Lie

I wake up in a strange room surrounded by white walls and instantly panic a bit, but I feel the warmth of Daryl's hand holding mine. I turn to see him dozed off in the chair next to me. Matt is in the chair opposite him, also dozed off. They are quite the pair. Both of them standing guard more or less over me while I slept. It brings a slight smile to my face despite the present circumstances. It's really nice to know that I have a family in these two. I couldn't think of two men more qualified to take care of someone.

I try to recall how I got here, but everything seems blurry and mixed. I remember a lot of voices, some I could clearly discern, but it was hard to tell exactly what was being said. I find myself staring at Daryl, enjoying the peaceful look on his face as he slumbers. He looks so much like a little boy when he sleeps that it melts me. All that cold hard gangster tucked sweetly away in sleep. The softness of his features are so contradictory to his nature. The street hustler with the face of an angel. I reach up to stroke his cheek, and my movement stirred him.

His eyes flutter open and land on me immediately. He looks tired and sad. I guess most of that is my fault, but he smiles when his eyes settle onto mine. In that moment with him I feel all the bad stripped away long enough to glimpse what we mean to each other and the relief in having the other there. The warmth I seem bubbling in his golden eyes fills me up as well. God, I love this man. I don't say anything, but lean in to press my lips to his, just desperate to feel closer to someone, most of all him.

His lips meet mine eagerly as well. I feel like I am being hit with the defibulator, because I am instantly brought back to life. I can't help but to think of our last encounter swelteringly hot and completely sinister. Oh, the hold he has on me! Does he know? It feels like he does as his hands go immediately to cradle my face, while his tongue plays a gentle yet demanding game of tag with mine.

"Get a room!" I hear scoffed from the other occupant in the room. Daryl and I immediately burst into laughter. I would have sworn Matt was passed out. When we both turn to peek over at him, I see the irises of his brown eyes resting on us, and a smug smirk plastered on his face. He is always the big brother.

"I technically have a room right now." I retort, which only has Daryl chuckling harder. I guess I saved him from having to say it.

"Is that really the first thing you guys should be up to, in the hospital?" He stressed that last part, but it only makes the two of us laugh harder. He rolls his eyes and grumbles to himself, something about me being as impossible as Daryl and that we deserve each other, but it was hard to tell exactly. It did not discourage us in the least.

After Matt scowls at us bit longer we decide to start taking him more seriously. Still giggling as the doctor comes in. No one mentions what brought me in or why I am here, to which I am forever grateful. I don't even fully know what happened let alone trying to explain it to someone else. I just felt like everything was spiraling all around me in different directions, until my heart felt like it would jump from my chest and I couldn't control my actions anymore. I remember feeling very dizzy and like the world was going to swallow me up right before my legs gave out and everything started to blur together.

The doctor spoke calmly and said they were going to keep me for e few days to observe me, and they were going to have a phycologist come and talk to me, because it seems like I may have had a very severe panic attack and would probably need medication. He answered any questions we had that he could, which wasn't much yet. He gave me a quick assessment. and said all my blood work and vitals had looked normal so none of that seemed to be the problem. Then he let me know the other doctor would come to see me later when she came in. Then as fast as he came he was gone.

Except when he left the room, its like he took all the air with him, because it was so still in the room that it felt like no one was breathing. The topic I was avoiding had been brought up and I couldn't pretend like it wasn't, especially with all eyes on me. Their big brown eyes both filled with emotions and concern I am not yet ready for. I fought my whole life to not be looked at that way again, only to have the two people I care about most looking at me with that look. It was too much to bare. I felt the tears course down my cheeks, first singularly and then in rivets.

I felt Daryl's warm arms encircle me and the weight on the bed shift with his presence, and immediately Matt was on the other side. I may have been very distraught at the moment, but there is a lot of comfort and strength to be gathered from that Ortega sandwich. I snuggle up to each of them enjoying the comfort of this moment with he two of them. My new family!

They don't bring up the topic though since I don't, and later when the phycologist shows up I ask them to leave so I can have this conversation without them. I briefly explain to her what happened to me just a month ago and as a child. She nods sympathetically but says little. She does have a very comforting presence and sweet voice. She said considering everything I have been through, it's not surprising at all that this happened. She made sure she stressed that this is very normal after such a traumatizing event and despite how well I might seem outwardly on the inside I would probably benefit from counselling.

She discussed options with me for therapy and a potential medication regiment. I wasn't too keen on the medication part but she assured me if necessary it would help until I got more regulated emotionally. She finished by telling me how strong I was and how this didn't have to be an emotional grave for me if I didn't want it to be. Her big blue eyes were kind and warm. Their gentle nature brought me peace in this moment because I knew she meant what she said, but she didn't know I was marrying Daryl Ortega and things like this could turn into common practice.

I try to keep those thoughts from my head as she exits the room, leaving me with upcoming appointment information, as the twins re-enter the room. I avoid Daryl's golden gaze feeling guilt just having these thoughts, because I know it's not his fault. However, he isn't exactly totally exempt from blame. I look at Matt instead who has the same damn look on his face. So much for avoiding it. They both look like wounded animals. It's almost just as hard looking at such grown men with hurt little boy faces as dealing with what has happened. I am the source of their pain right now. It's like the icing on the cake.

I hold back my tears and ask them to give me a few minutes to process, and make up an excuse about being hungry. Honestly sending the two of them off for food is a stroke of brilliance with their appetites, and they are immediately excited and talking happily amongst each other about the best places to score good food nearby. As soon as they exit my room again and are gone I burst into a renewed flood of tears. I know I could have had their comfort but sometimes you just need a good cry. I try my hardest to get it all out, to just let all the negativity flow out with my tears, but those things never happen how we want them to. My nurse came in and offered me something for anxiety seeing the state I was in.

By the time the duo return food in hand I have dried my tears and washed my face. I show them a big smile when they walk into my room food bags in hand, and they are both beaming ear to ear like they have accomplished the most important task in the universe. One small step for man, right? I can only chuckle to myself at their over eagerness to try to please. At least they try.

After that we eat our meal and joke with each other alternating turns between making the two of the centers of the joke. The two of them leaving me unscathed in their digs at each other. I swear these two love to hate each other and hate to love each other. I spend two more days at the hospital and Daryl almost never leaves my side, and when he is gone Matt is there. I don't have any more cries during my stay, and I leave with an appointment set up to see a phycologist in a few more days.

I think they stayed giving me Xanax throughout my stay though, because I just felt sleepy and lethargic. When I went home I had a script of it that was designed to last me until my appointment with the doctor. I used those to stay in a state of numb until my appointment arrived. It was the easiest way to numb myself and the thoughts that always brought me back to the point that this is the life Daryl lives, and I am always subject to the worst parts of it. I am the weapon that can always be used against him.