Chasing Elliott - Published

chapter twenty six ... down to the marina

Quatervois (n.)
a crossroads; a critical decision or turning point in one's life.
———

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Groaning, I rolled over and blindly reached for it, dropping the melted tub of ice cream in the process.

"Hello?" I asked groggily, not bothering to look at who was calling.

"So you are alive," Johnathan chuckled on the other end of the line. "I was starting to get worried."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I've just been so busy lately," I apologized as I finally opened my eyes and pushed myself up to sit. Glancing over at the clock on the microwave, I saw it was two in the morning.

"Busy getting into fights," he teased. I rolled my eyes as I climbed off the couch and walked into the kitchen to toss the tub of ice cream.

"Some people just need to be put in their place the hard way. But what's up? Why are you calling me so late?"

"I just got off work and wanted to see if you were interested in going down to the marina like we used to," Johnathan told me. I sighed quietly as I ran a hand through my disheveled hair, a small knot forming in my stomach.

"Not tonight, John," I said which caused him to release a disappointed sigh. "I'm exhausted. Maybe another time?"

"Doubtful," Johnathan mumbled as I heard something banging on the other end of the line. "She told me you were in too deep with Cooper but I guess I was hoping it wasn't true."

Before I had the opportunity to say anything, he hung up the phone. Furrowing my eyebrows, I released an exasperated sigh and threw my phone on the coffee table before falling back down onto the couch.

Resting my head in my hands, I thought about what Johnathan had said. I couldn't commit to a relationship with Cooper yet here I was, turning down someone I knew I had great physical chemistry with. I felt guilty even hearing the words come out of Johnathan's mouth, like even the thought was betraying Cooper.

I had never felt this way before and I hated how so much of my emotions and actions were wrapped up in one guy. This isn't who I was but betraying those close to me wasn't me, either. Growing frustrated, I grabbed my phone and walked toward the door. Grabbing my car keys off the hook, I tore open the door and made my way out to the parking lot.

———

I sat in the parking lot at the beach near campus, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were white. A million thoughts were running through my head, my subconscious trying to tell me what the right thing to do was.

The longer I sat there, the more my anger began to bubble up. I slammed my hand on the steering wheel as my eyes started to water. I had never gotten this worked up over trying to make a decision, never had this much weighing on me before. Growing even more frustrated, I climbed out of the car and made my way over to the sand.

Slipping off my sandals, I picked them up and started to walk along the beach. Stopping once my feet were in the water, I stared out at the moon bouncing off the surface of the water. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to try and silence the thoughts that were spinning around in my head.

Suddenly, a feeling of calm engulfed me and a small smile came to my face. Releasing the breath I didn't even know I was holding, I spun on my heel and started walking toward the marina. Once the light from the lighthouse came into view, I stopped and scanned the area. Biting my lip, I walked over to the figure that I saw laying in the hammock.

"What on earth are you doing here?" I questioned as I came to stop a couple feet away.

"Ever since that night, whenever I can't sleep, I come out to this spot," Cooper said with a small smile as he sat up. "What are you doing here?"

Sighing, I walked over and sat in the hammock beside him. Cooper immediately put a hand on my leg as I kept my eyes adverted down, refusing to make eye contact.

"I don't want to hide anything from you," I told him softly as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "But I'm scared, Coop."

"Hey," he said quickly as he reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Don't be. You can tell me anything, no matter how bad it might be."

"I don't know if I ever told you this but Johnathan and I slept together a few times and tonight, he called me asking to meet up where we used to," I started to say as I glanced up and saw Cooper's jaw tense up. "I told him no because I felt guilty, I couldn't do that to you. But the longer I sat there, the more scared and worked up I got.

"I've never put this much of myself into another person before and I've never felt so unlike myself. I don't do this kind of thing, Coop. I don't stick with one guy for this long, even if it's just as friends. So much of myself is wrapped up in you and I'm terrified that one day I'm not going to be able to handle that and I'm going to ruin whatever it is we have."

I felt my eyes start to well up and I knew I couldn't keep talking. The minute I stopped, Cooper wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his side, my head resting in the crook of his neck. One of his arms was around my shoulders while the other cupped the back of my head and kept me against him. I let a few of the tears escape, not caring about how pathetic it might look.

"El, you have no idea what this means to me. I really appreciate you telling me and not hiding this. But baby, you told him no and that's enough for me. I know how difficult this has been on you, to try and be with someone, but you've made me the happiest man alive for giving me a chance.

"I don't want you to be scared, babe. As long as you're open about things like this in the future and talk to me about your feelings, we can work through anything. I promise you I'll do the same in return. No secrets, no lies, okay?"

Nodding, I wrapped my arms around Cooper's neck and held him tightly as his arms looped around my waist. Once we pulled apart, I placed a kiss to his lips before releasing the grip I had on him. Turning my attention back to the water, Cooper put his legs back up on the hammock and laid down behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw him smiling at me.

"Lay with me," he said softly as he held an arm out. Putting my entire body into the hammock, I curled up into his side with my head resting on his chest. Cooper rubbed small patterns on my arm and not long later, I fell asleep.