More Than Words (a Pesy story)

I think of you, I'll never be alone (Part 2)

I take a shower that is by normal standards much too hot and too long, but I haven't taken a shower that lasted longer than 5 minutes or was scalding hot since Parker was 2 weeks old, and Harry was still around to tend her while I washed. Now, I either lay her in her little chair and shower as quickly as humanly possible, or bring her into the shower with me, which means that I have to keep the water cool enough for her soft little baby skin. Today, I take my time to wash my hair, and let the water rain down on me a bit before I get to thinking about my life and it all gets to be a bit too much. I get out once my thoughts start to wander to Harry. I haven't really had time to properly process his leaving the baby and I, since I've been all too busy taking care of the baby. At this point, I'm really too emotionally drained to feel anything but stupid. Stupid that I fell for him in the first place, stupid that I ignored the red flags, stupid that I refused to see this coming, stupid that-

I shake myself, not needing this right now, and set about finding some clothes and towel-drying my hair. I give my hair a good brush-through and throw on some black leggings, a sports bra, and a large plaid button down before going back down to Perrie and the baby.

I find them on the floor, Parker laid out on her tummy on her fuzzy yellow blanket. Perrie's laid out face down as well, propped up on her elbows so she can duck her head down and be eye level with the baby, cooing soft encouragements and rolling toys toward her, telling her what a wonderful girl she is.

The sight makes my heart clench in a way that is definitely totally inappropriate, considering Perrie is my best friend, but I revel in it, having felt nothing but negative romantic emotions for so long.

Plus, if I need an excuse, I can blame it on the crazy hormones.

"Are we having tummy time?" I ask in my soft baby voice, walking over to my two favorite girls.

"We are!" Perrie says with a grin, finding her way to a sitting position instead of laying. Once she's sat up, she pats the ground next to her, gesturing for me to sit. I oblige, letting Perrie wrap an arm around me and give me a squeeze. I expect her to move her arm, but she doesn't, and I'm grateful. "Me and baby P were just talking about rolling over, weren't we baby?"

The baby gurgles in agreement, hitting her little fists on the ground. I just smile and lean against Perrie, enjoying this happy little moment.

"Are you feeling any better?" Perrie asks, leaning her head against my own, wet hair and all.

"Much, thank you," I say, closing my eyes.

"Good," she says, giving me another little squeeze. We stay like this until the baby starts to fuss.

I scoop her up into my arms, placing a kiss on her little head before settling her against my chest.

"Are you hungry, little one?" Perrie asks the baby, who's got on her best pout.

"She ate at 10?" I ask, turning my head to look at Perrie, whose face is maybe 4 inches from mine. My eyes flick down to her lips momentarily before meeting her own. If she notices, she's kind enough not to say anything.

"Yeah, like a little gremlin. A cute one," she laughs, "but she wolfed down her whole bottle."

"That's my girl," I say, grinning down at the baby, who's no longer fussing. "You was just feeling left out of the cuddle, weren't ya?"

She coos at me, and even though I know she can't really understand me, at times like this I can't help but wonder.

I spend the next while cooing over the baby with Perrie, who's still got an arm thrown around me.