The worse may turn out to be the best

Secrets spilling out

*after school*

Finally the first day of school is finished; now back to that shit hole.

Leaving the school premises I plugged my head phones in a started to listening to Get scared.

I didn't notice any one was trying to get my attention till some one tapped my shoulder. turning round to see who it was, I found out it was Brogan. ugh why is he here.

Taking out my head phones I stopped in my tracks. " and what do you want?" I asked harshly just because I don't like him. " feisty,I like it." He said and winked. ugh this guy is just so annoying. " seriously what do you want?"I asked.you could hear the annoyance in my voice. " I was offering to walk you home." He offered with a genuine smile. " I'm fine, really I can walk home by my self." I assured him. " pleaseeee?"

He asked, sounding desperate. " fine" i said only to make him happy.

For once I didn't feel lonely walking home. All my life I had to be alone, nobody ever wanted to come near me. Even though I hate Brogan with a passion, I still enjoyed his company. He made me feel welcome, like people actually cared.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye" I looked anywhere but Brogans eyes. All of a sudden, he grabbed my wrists, making me hiss in pain from my cuts. "I'm not as bad as what people have been saying about me, you need to understand that." I roll my eyes not believing a word he has just said. As I pulled away from his tight grasp I moved my body towards the door.

" I guess I'll see you at school then " he said with sadness in his voice. " yeah I guess you will" I said while opening the door.

Without being able to close the door entirely I came face to face with one of my nightmares. My father.

" WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING HANGING ROUND THAT EMO KID! " My dad screamed at me. Slap. The dreadful pain shooting through my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears from escaping my eyes, to show I'm not weak but failing when they come rushing down my red cheeks.

" ANSWER THE QUESTION BITCH!" He once more screamed at me while kicking me in the leg, causing me to collapse onto the hard tiles floor in pain. " h-h-he was just walking me home" I whispered scared of what he'd do if I said the wrong thing. " I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU WITH HIM EVER AGAIN DO YOU HEAR ME?" Not giving me a second to answer he kicked me again in my rib cage and came close up to my face. "WHAT WAS THAT?" He screamed at me making me even more terrified than I already was. I could smell the hint of alcohol in his breath. "Y-yes" I croaked. Tears still gushing out of my eyes." Good, now I don't want to see your face go up to you room" he said calming down just an inch.

Using the wall as a support. I heaved my weak body up and limped over to the stairs. Stumbling up the stairs I heard my dad open another can of beer and turn the tv on to watch the football. He's always drinking in the morning , afternoon and at night. There's never a time of day were he's not wasting his life by drinking.

Making my way over to the bathroom I opened up the bathroom cabinet and was greeted by my best friend. The razor. The only thing which gives me pain. Who's always there for me when I need him.

Placing the cold metal to my already scarred wrist I started to cut all my worries away. Each cut for it's very own personal reason. First cut - abuse
Second cut- ugliness
Third cut- weight
Forth cut- weakness
And so many more. Each cut pouring out with blood and dripping into the sink. Mixing in with the tears which were flowing out of my eyes like a waterfall. The last thing I saw before blanking out was the disappointed look on his face.