Broken Secrets

Broken Faith

Two weeks have passed and things have went down hill. My mother's word continued to play in a loop through my head. I questioned was a good mother? A good wife? A good friend?

I don't feel like myself anymore, my spirit feels broken. Time and time again I break your heart and look for you to repair mine. We've started a new journey once again but how many directions can we take until we're all out of options.

I started by breaking your heart and your trust, I then left and started something new, roping you in with my my turmoil and deception. And now in this letter I'll do it for the last time Clarence.

In this letter I'll end saying I love you, I love your heart, I love your persona and everything you stand for. Without you I feel like I've lost a piece of me but this letter I'm setting you and the kids free. Goodbye and I'll love you forever.

- Brittany White

1 DAY EARLIER

"You need to get up Britt, the kids can't keep seeing you like this and I can't continue to look at you like this..." Clarence opened the drapes, blinding me making me groan loudly

"So you're judging me now?" I questioned

"Man, I'm not judging but I'm going to tell you the truth you are depressed because your mom is disappointed in you but instead of communicating you're having an episode."

"Clarence I am depressed but they for reasons way past my mother, do you know how much you've put me through?" He knitted his eyebrows and crossed his arms

"How then this fall on me? We've both did things in the past Brittany to hurt each other but I thought all was forgiven." I got out the bed and ran my hands through my hair

"Whatever—" I walked toward the bathroom

"Can you wait and let's talk b damn? You're my damn wife mo and you acting out and isolating yourself from this family is not right and it's happening."

"Hmm..." was all I could say so I shut the door in his face and locked the door

I looked in the mirror and rubbed my hands through my hair. A single tear fell down and once again I felt like I was in that place again but this time it was a deeper feeling, a deeper hole.

I went into my drawer pulling out an vodka bottle. I loosened the cap and brought the bottle to my mouth as I tilted it back and savored myself in alcohol and sorrow.

- - - - - - - - - -

CLARENCE

"I don't know what to do anymore, her parents left and haven't called or spoken to her... and she has just shut me out. I'm stuck, the kids ask for their mommy and half of the time she is too drunk to even face them." I vented to my mom as I fed Aiyden

"Clarence have you ever just thought— Brittany might need professional help, help that you can't give her. This isn't her first episode and she has been down for majority of her life."

"She got pregnant young, kicked out to fend for herself, you left her and she got stuck with a bullshit ass job, you took her back and forgave but things went upside down and she got into an abusive relationship while seeing you happy with Aaliyah and right after y'all were done you went back to Brittany but ended up in jail and she went through a complicated pregnancy all by herself."