Nothing But Stillness
These words invoke a stillness in me.
A strange numbness, coated by the sound of my breathing, of my slowly beating heart.
There’s nothing to say.
You’re solid and so still; nothing at all like I remember you to be. I wish I could remember your face, but this hard granite exterior has replaced everything I once knew.
I could lean down and gaze intensely at you; hoping that you’ll see the truth in my eyes. But I don’t, because there’s nothing to show.
Nothing to say.
There’s nothing I can do but softly trace a finger along your cold surface, barely managing to contain the pain that envelopes me as you do nothing in response but sit there, solid and frozen.
I wish I could fold into myself. Bend forward, overlapping my creases until I’m a tiny little square, too small to be recognized.
As I trail a finger over your ingrained details, I wonder what life has come to.
What life could’ve been like, how things might’ve differed, had everything changed. Had I not run away from your needs. Had you not left this place.
As much as it hurts, I know all I can do is tie all of the “what if’s” together with a neat little bow, like a necklace that I can never take off.
The guilt doesn’t leave.
It took your place as soon as your feet left the ground. As soon as your soul floated away, like a balloon that slipped through my fingers; too high for me to pull back to safety.
And now all that remains of you is tucked away neatly into the ground, too far for me to see, too cold for me to bear. You’ve left, and with your departure you’ve taken the warmth from my heart, and the song from my voice.
Life feels barren, like a wasteland that won't end. I am the tumbleweed pushed in every direction.
My finger is numb as it comes to your edge, and I lean forward precariously, hoping that maybe as I lean down to kiss your hard exterior, my lips won’t make contact. That they won’t make contact with the bitter harshness that comes with your new face; gone, but not forgotten.
YOU ARE READING
Words, Words, Words
PoetryThe title pretty much covers the basics of what this is. It's words (x3). My words, specifically. There are poems, short stories, little random paragraphs, slam poems, a whole shitload of things. So read if you want to (or don't).
