Sas and I press our faces against the glass of the car window.My hands are firmly wound around her stomach,and her tinier ones diig deeper into my neck as the car starts to move.To add to the gloominess of the situation ,its just starts raining,and before long the roads are all slick and wet.The house is almost blurred from our view.
"Take a last look Sas.I don't think we'll be back here anytime soon"
I whisper into her cheek,and she slumps further into my lap,her expression wistful,but not sad.She looks like she is thinking-but then again,she is always thinking.Its very uncanny how such an expression of deep intelligence is always on the face of a seven year old.She rolls her upper lip into her mouth for a moment,before sighing as the car finally leaves the house,and our lives behind us.Sas gets off my lap and seats herself calmly beside me instead.
"What are you thinking?" I ask her quietly,entranced again by how she manages to look like a miniature sage in the process of figuring out the world's secrets.She shrugs slightly,but doesn't look at me.We are silent for a bit,the only sound coming from the squeaky screen wipers and the sound of tires against wet tar.I poke my little sister in the stomach,trying to elicit a reaction,but she doesn't smile.
"What are you thinking about Sas?" I ask again,and she finally looks up,clear eyed and practical as ever.
Which freaks me out a little bit,as usual.Because it really is scary how a seven year old can look really calm and collected when she is unexpectedly deserted by her mother,then forced to leave the only home she has ever known,but throws temper tantrums when noone finds her favorite rubber duck when she wants to take a bath,or cries when she is forced to eat her peas at supper.
"Just thinking how sad and lonely the house must feel with noone living in it anymore,with mum and us gone.That's all"
she answers my question,still clear-eyed,still practical.I swallow,before looking away.Away from what I cannot comprehend,away from what I am afraid to feel if I do.
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