Ice cold // Jacklyn

Part 1

~JACKS POV~
We're walking through the woods. I'm walking in front while the other boys are walking behind me. They're laughing and having fun, while I'm walking here in front, alone. He made a promise that he couldn't keep. I knew he couldn't keep his promise, but he told me he would keep his promise. I wanted to believe him so desperately, that for second I let myself believe him.

I wish I wouldn't have, because now I'm walking here alone and sadder than I was before. I feel so lonely and left out. Maybe even unsafe and vulnerable. At school I'm always with friends. People know me by my reputation. Here, here my reputation doesn't matter. They're with five and I'm alone. That makes me scared, thinking of the things that could happen knowing that they're with more.
I've never really felt this vulnerable.
I thinks it's partly because I want him to keep that promise. I want him to be my friend, but I won't let him. Afraid that he would leave me alone. I can't help but wonder. Maybe if I let him be my friend, I wouldn't feel so lonely right now. Maybe I would even feel happy. I want him as my friend, maybe even more. If it wasn't for this trip, my head would've never been so messed up.

I'm so in my thoughts that I don't notice the branch in front me and fall down. They're all laughing at me, except for him. He walks to me and helps me up. He smiles at me and walks back to the other boys. I want him to hold me so I won't fall again. I can't help but imagine that happening. Sadly enough, that will never happen. Do I like more as a friend?
I just want to go back home, to my friends, but I can't. I won't let them notice any of my feelings. I'll have to keep this act up a little but longer.

If only I would've chosen chemistry instead of biology. Then I wouldn't have been here. All this stupid stuff started the day miss Evans announced the groups for this idiotic school trip.