Dead Girl's Diary

♡

October 23

He is so beautiful, like a picture painted to perfection. But of course he cannot see me, for I am simply a ghost and he is a solid human being.

Before I talk about this boy I should probably tell you that my family decided to move out of the house I had died in and into a house across the country. I do not blame my parents and sister for wanting to leave; I think it made them sad to see my room but no me. I do regret not saying a last goodbye to them. And by them I mean my parents. I wrote my sister a note on Tuesday, the day before they left, saying goodbye for good.

She came into my room that night because I told her she could have my locket that I got when I was born. She came in when I was not paying attention; I had been listening to music on my bed when I heard a loud gasp and fast footsteps toward my bed.

"Madison!" my sister had shouted. My mom came running to my room to tell Elle that I was not there and she was just imagining it. Elle had often shouted my name randomly so it was nothing new to my mother. But this time she really had seen me. I vanished before my mom could reach my bedroom door.

"But I saw her, mom! For real this time, I swear!" Elle pleaded.

"No, honey, you didn't. Go get some rest, we leave early tomorrow," were my mom's final words to Elle as she closed my bedroom door.

I reappeared and went on a search for my locket when I heard a familiar voice softly call my name. It was my sister again and I was clearly visible.

"Madison," Elle said again quietly as she crept over to me at my dresser. I could not disappear now, it was too late. She knew.

"Elle, you can't come in here anymore," I said sternly but faintly.

"I won't, we leave tomorrow. I just came to get the locket from your room," she responded in a whisper.

"Here," I said handing it to her carefully. My sister started blankly at me for several moments. I didn't know if she was going to cry or turn to leave. She started crying. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back.

"Elle!" we both heard our mom call.

"Goodbye," I said with a light, hopeful smile as she turned to go. She spun to face me but did not say anything. She turned back and left my room without another word. And I understood.

***

Back to this boy... so my family has moved out and a new family has moved in: a mother, a father, and their seventeen year old son, Tyler. They moved in on Wednesday. They had arrived half an hour before my family was to leave so my parents could explain my whole dying in the house situation. After my family had left, the new family picked their rooms. The parents took the master bedroom, and Tyler claimed my sister's old room. When Tyler was unpacking his things I slipped into his room, as transparent. He was a model of physical perfection. I couldn't help but feel giddy around him even though I have only seen him.

I had never had a boyfriend; I never really wanted to have one because I didn't think anyone could ever love a sad girl... I didn't know what love or any other mushy feelings felt like and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

I watched Tyler carefully as he set boxes to his floor from his bed. He lay down as he pulled his phone out of his pant pocket. I walked slowly to a pile of large boxes and carefully so I wouldn't be heard. I examined his movements as he seemed to be dialling a phone number.

"Hey bud," Tyler said with a soft laugh to the person on the other line.

"The house is pretty sweet, some chick died in here in the summer... I dunno, I think they said she'd just turned seventeen or something.... dude, I dunno if she was hot! She's a ghost... yeah she could be a hot ghost..." Tyler laughed again.

A hot ghost? Is that even possible? I close my eyes and transport to my room and become visible. I want to be a hot ghost.