She held her son close to her heart. It was the first time she's held him. When she was mortal, she hadn't wanted to bond with him so she could leave him behind without changing her mind. She could finally hold him and he felt good. She never wanted to let go. She sniffed him, her fox senses latching on to his smell and the sound of his breathing and his heart beat. The little boy had jumped into her arms once she'd told him she was his mother and he'd received confirmation from his father. He kept touching her eyes until he fell asleep. She had no idea how long she had been standing there with him before she caught a glimpse of Ye Hua watching them with tears in his eye.
She tried to remember the last time she saw him without tears and couldn't come up with any. They had a rough ride. She shook off the pity and cradled the little bundle in the crook of her arm as she brought her other hand to stroke his face. He opened his eyes, grabbed her finger and went back to sleep. he smiled in response.
"Mama's little dumpling" she whispered as she stroked his wriggling limbs while he tried to grab her fingers
It had taken Ye Hua some time to know what to do with himself but the image of mother and son was burnt into his brain and when he realized neither of them were interested in him for the moment, he decided to paint it.
By the time he looked up from the painting, A-Li was asleep in his mother's arms.
"I can put him to bed" He offered
She shook her head." I want to hold him for a while longer"
He shrugged.
"I need a room for paperwork."
"You want to do paperwork here?"
"I'm going to live here for a while"
She froze under a blast of panic, she felt the icy grip on her heart as she was assailed by dozens of memories, each more painful than the last. She didn't hear him call out her name or see him walk up to her so when she felt his cold hands on her arms, she stepped back hastily
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you"
Ye Hua frowned "Qian Qian, are you ok?"
Hearing her name helped her snap out of the daze. She took a deep breath and busied herself placing A-Li in his crib. Ye Hua stood where he was and studied her
"Didn't you just get married to Su Jin? Why do you want to live away from her" she asked, saying the first thing that came to her mind
"Qian Qian, why does it seem like you're afraid of me"
The goddess bristled "I'm not." She sighed deciding honesty was the best policy with this. "it's leftover mortal emotions"
He blinked "leftover...?"
"I'm a fox, an ancient spirit, why would I be afraid of an immortal less than half my age even if he is the dragon crown prince?"
He felt like he'd been stabbed. "Su Su ... you ... were afraid of me?"
Bai Qian poured herself a cup of tea. She had never tried to explain the mortal's feelings. She wasn't even sure if she could.
"Yes and no. It's hard to explain." he looked pitiful, unshed tears pooled in his eyes and he looked like he'd just been struck by an unexpected holy thunderbolt. She considered herself a merciful goddess having spent the last 70,000 years cultivating her spiritual essence. It seemed cruel to not try to explain it to him
"She wasn't afraid of you as much as she was afraid of you getting angry at her or her doing something that would hurt you"
"But...but I was never angry at you"
"You had a pretty interesting way of showing your 'not angry'"
"Qian Qian..."
"That's in the past now" She interrupted him "we should discuss how to share custody of A-Li going forward"
"Share? Qian Qian we are engaged"
She sighed, the dragon was back.
"And you're married" She replied
"Yes, to you!"
"Mortal marriages don't count in the immortal realm, you know this"
"Ours does!"
"Ye Hua, be reasonable. You know I'm right"
"we..."
"Don't" she said as he started to explain. "Our mortal marriage is void and I will have my family break off the immortal engagement. This way, celestial tribe will not feel compelled to make any concession"
"I won't accept it. I'm moving here unless you kick me out, then I'll camp out in front of your cave."
"What about your duties?" deciding to try another approach
"I'm recuperating and recultivating my essence"
"Why? What happened to you?"
She didn't know. And he didn't want to tell her. Regardless of his commitment to himself and third uncle that morning to be more open with her, he chose to hold the information back. He wanted to win her love not her pity
"I was in an accident"
She nodded, accepting the non explanation "You can stay but you'll have to clean up the guest room for yourself. Mi Gu is travelling with my parents. Fox den is small and not like your Xiwu palace so I have no room for your entourage. Anyone you bring is not sleeping here"
"What about Nai Nai?"
"I plan to steal her from you. She's wasted in snobbish heaven and will thrive in Qing Qi but now is not the time. I want to bond with my son Qing Qi style"
"I meant to help with A-Li"
"I don't need help with him. When I'm not with him, you'll be, why else are you here?" She shrugged.
"What happens if I don't agree."
"You can go back to your palace"
"Ok." He muttered accepting the Qian Qian was a lot tougher than Su Su had been
"One more thing"
"There's more?"
"Your family is not allowed into my cave, not now, not while you're living here."
He didn't respond. He was certain she didn't need one.
YOU ARE READING
Through it all (a ten miles of peach blossoms fan fiction)
Fanfiction[Complete] Bai Qian has returned from her mortal trials with her memory and her newly elevated powers. She wants her son, she wants her eyes and she wants justice. This time, she has everything she needs to make it happen I recently watched the Chin...
