Our Dearly Departed

In Mourning

Part 3 In Mourning

Gerard Totally Shatters the Fourth Wall

I walked the streets for a while, deciding to just get blood from a hospital or blood bank instead of killing somebody. Luring someone back to the attic and killing them seemed like too much work, and she needed blood fast. I also had a funeral to plan. When you're undead for while, you start to make friends. I decided to conveniently befriend the local mortician, who is also undead. We agreed to help each other out. I cover for him, he covers for me. I had no doubt he would allow me to stage a funeral for my new companion. Don't get me wrong, some of us do decide to pretend to be human, but it gets old really fast. It's easier to just fake your death to everyone who knows you, then move away and stay off the grid. I had lived like this for the last 15 years, eternally 27 years old. I liked it enough, but it got lonely. I know what you're thinking, why didn't you just go find a friend, Gerard? Just turn someone right away and have a buddy? It doesn't work like that. You have to be compelled to turn someone, otherwise, you'll just kill them. I'm not one hundred percent sure how it works, but it's like fate or soulmates or something. You know when you see the person, then your body aches until you actually do it.

I never felt that until I saw her. Once I did, I knew I would do anything to have her with me; not in a strictly, sexual way, mind you, but that's part of it. I planned meticulously for a week. I even killed her aunt, so she'd have a funeral to attend. I'm not really a murder, the woman was like 90 and on death's door, anyway. I just moved things along. It worked perfectly. She fell right into my lap, as I knew she would. One perk about being me is that I can figure out exactly what someone wants. This girl, who looked normal, calm, and honestly sort of vanilla, had some dark thoughts going in her pretty little head. Want to know a secret? You'd think I did all the work, but she was wet as soon as she sat down in that funeral home. All I had to do was give her an invitation, be a little seductive, and boom! Down the stairs, and on the embalming table she goes! That was fun. We'll definitely do it again sometime. Maybe next time I'll just fuck her on that table or let her ride me on it...I'm easily distracted. Where was I?

I looked around the streets. Right! The hospital! My feet took me there while I was daydreaming. I strolled through the front door without a problem. It was normal for a priest to be in a hospital. People died daily. I nodded at the receptionist and went to the third floor. The nurse at the desk smiled.

"Father Way! Are you here to see a family, I can buzz you in the door to the ICU?"

"No, I'm actually here to see Fred, is he around?"

"He's just finishing a surgery; he should be right out. I'll have the surgical nurse tell him you're here."

"Thanks."

Fred had been undead for quite some time. In his 172 years on earth, he had earned doctorate degrees in six fields, his most current being a medical degree. He was a cardiac surgeon. Easy access to blood. He had only been in town for about a year, so he could get away with it for a while longer. We met a few months ago, and he was always willing to give me blood in an emergency. I had only had to take him up on it once before.

"Father," he said with a snide tone walking into the hallway, "good to see you."

"I was wondering if you could help me out with a donation."

"Of course! Let's talk in my office."

I followed him to the next floor. We went to his office. He shut the door behind us and looked up and down the hall to make sure no one was listening. He closed the blinds to cover the only window in the room.

"You ok, Gerard? You haven't asked for blood in a while."

"I'm fine, it's not for me."