Deeply In Love (gxg)

Chapter XVI-Ricocheting Events

Carmina's

It was suicide.

Loving someone because of a promise of forever is something magnificent yet yields too much complication to deal with most especially when it comes to different times.

It might also be exhausting if I will continuously dwell into it but as it repeatedly happens, I realized that it was all worth it.

The bliss that Carla could make me feel is incomparable. He/she is the only one I wanted to be with, in this world.

You know what?

I'm willing to take the rope and put it around my neck as long as it will be the reason to be with Carla. It was ridiculous but after all these years of waiting for her, I couldn't think of anything better.

All I wanted is to be beside her while we are still alive and while we still have the chance to be together.

The problem is our status.

I being her teacher and Carla being my student.

Our age doesn't sound too appealing likewise.

I love my job and I don't want to quit. I couldn't just simply leave teaching and turn to our business because I resent it. Businessman are alone, they don't have students to make them exultant and infuriate them sometimes, it couldn't fulfill me.

But the thought of Carla being away from me, and me living in jail because of what's to come is too much for me to handle. I have never been to jail all my life. Considering I've been here on earth for a thousand-year already.

It was an absurd thought that breaks me inside. That is why I went to our house. The house where we live before.

The first witness of our love story.

When I get back there, I felt all the love that Carla made me feel for the years that we've been together.

I so love him...I mean her.

What an inane destiny to make Carla a woman. I have never thought that this will happen but I learned to enjoy the comfort of being with the same gender as long as it was her.

I know it seems like I was leading her on because I often show her gestures that might confuse her like kissing her and afterward, I will turn cold. I actually don't know myself anymore.

I just want to know what is the right thing to do or if I even want to settle with the right thing because looking at other's magnifying glass, I know, this is so wrong to love a girl and a student.

But, I couldn't blame myself. I just want to be happy again.

So, I decided to just wait and see what is going to happen. I know it's elusive but I couldn't think of a wise decision. Susan gave me a go signal but I just couldn't push the red button yet, I have to prepare myself first and then prepare Carla. Not to mention my daughter Audrey and the rest of the world.

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy because of all the thoughts that kept me up until dawn. But I'm glad that the sun welcomed me with a smile so I got up and took a shower, trying to wash away all the crazy thoughts inside my head.

The first level of the contest had been too easy for Carla to pass. I don't have any idea about what she sketched but I hope it's a good thing because every artwork of hers will be showcased in our school and she still doesn't know that. Maybe I was a bit harsh with the information because I don't provide her enough but I'm glad that she doesn't ask yet.

I wore a simple dress and makeup that suits my get up. I took my time to get outside because I don't think breakfast is what I need right now but I still need to be there because they require the attendance of the coaches and participants.