PROMISE. // Bakudeku

Promise.

IT WAS SATURDAY night, and it was snowing outside.

The knuckles of a blond teen softly rapped on Izuku's wooden door three times.

Izuku had been staring at his ceiling, shivering from the weather despite being in a thick pink sweater, with his lower half wrapped in his bedsheets. He only had boxers on, but he was too lazy to change.

"Come in," he said.

Katsuki entered, but stood at the doorway after closing the door behind him.

Izuku sighed. "Oh. It's you."

"Is he better than me?" Katsuki blurted, instantly regretting it.

Dumbass, now he's gonna get pissed! I just got here and I managed to do the exact opposite of what those morons told me to do!

Izuku sat up, smirking wickedly. "In what way? I haven't gone far enough with you to make a comparison."

Katsuki paled, but he decided to ignore the comment. Clearly the broccoli was egging him on.

"Forget I asked that," he muttered.

"Well? Why are you here?" Izuku asked, even though he was somewhat aware of the reason.

Katsuki leaned off the door and headed over to Izuku's bed, now standing before him. His toes curled nervously in his shoes.

"You were the one person I wanted praise from the most, all those years. Even when I started being a dick."

He stared into Izuku's expressionless eyes as he continued. "But now I know where exactly I went wrong. I shouldn't have been thinkng that the only person you love is me, and not yourself. I should've realised you wanted praise just as much as I did. I wanted to protect you so bad that it turned into me bullying and objectifying you."

Izuku looked away.

"I hated how weak you always made me feel. I wanted... I wanted to be the person you could look up to." Bakugou leaned in a bit closer to Izuku's face.

"Then why would you date Kirishima?" Izuku finally spoke, the crack in his voice so small Katsuki almost missed it.

"I'm a living contradiction. I have no idea what I'm fucking doing. I wanted to be in control of what I felt, and somehow my mind twisted hatred for weakness into hatred for you. I guess it makes sense though- since you are my weakness. That sounds so fucking corny but it's true," Katsuki muttered the last bit and Izuku bit back a chuckle.

"I loved the thought of being with you, but I loved the thought of being in control more. But I regret it. I regret everything so much, and I fucking hate myself for only realizing how shitty I am now. I'm sorry you had to pull yourself away for me to notice that. I know sorry doesn't cut it, but I don't know what else to say."

The silence that followed made Katsuki feel like he was stuck in space without a helmet. Izuku stared blankly at the bed sheets.

"It's obvious that you only want me now because you don't have me. You're being driven by jealousy, not what you feel for me," Izuku now stared at the wall, his eyes becoming full.

"That's not it-"

"Yes! That is it!" Izuku shouted, his voice rich with an unpleasant mix of ugly emotions. "You're just a fucking self-serving dog! As soon as I forgive you, you'll go find someone better."

Izuku felt so disgusted with himself. He wanted to feel nothing so badly. He was almost starting to. But a blond boy with anger issues destroyed any chance he had.