Two Years After Marriage
Shante
I could feel my knees shaking while Anthony held my hand, being nervous was an understatement. I looked around the large office and seen all the awards that were plastered on the walls "Voted Best Fertility Specialist of the Year", I looked at the pictures of families that were displayed in the office and thought it was a bit of contradiction.
Anthony and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now and have had no luck, we haven't used condoms or protection in our entire relationship. That was a bad sign to me, I pulled some string with the fertility clinic affiliated with my job and got us an appointment to be tested. Something was wrong with one of us. We both want kids badly and I know not being able to have kids will put a bad strain on our relationship.
" Shante Babe calm down, everything is gonna be okay." Anthony squeezed tighter on my hand while we waited for the Doctor to come in.
"Something is wrong with me Anthony, I can't have kids. I can't give you the family you always wanted." My eyes started to fill up with tears.
"We don't know that anything is wrong with either of us Shante, let's not jump ahead and get ourselves upset for nothing." Anthony was doing a good job of staying calm, he had to because I was a mess.
"Mr and Mrs Piers, its nice to meet you both." The young black woman said entering her office and standing right in front of us with her hand extended.
"Nice to meet you too." Anthony and I said in unison.
"I'm Dr. Megan Godfrey." She said while taking a seat behind her desk and motioning for us to sit down. She opened up a manilla folder and started to read what was written down.
"Mrs. Piers, your ovulating just fine. Your eggs are maturing like they should be." She let out a soft smile and I exhaled feeling relieved.
"So what's the problem?" I asked not allowing her the chance to finish what she might have wanted to say.
"Mr. Piers it appears that you have a very low sperm count. And where your numbers are on our chart it makes it almost impossible for you two to conceive a child. You two have a ten percent chance of getting." She said those words with no emotion, like she didn't just crush our entire world by telling us this.
Anthony dropped his head and I could tell at that moment that he was disappointed in himself.
"There's nothing you can do, no surgery, no pills, some damn herbs?" I could hear his voice cracked as he asked the questions, his head was still hung low.
"No Mr. Piers, I'm so sorry. I do have the information of an adoption agency if the two of you want to take that route." Dr. Godfrey opened up the drawer to her desk and pulled out some papers.
"No thank you." Anthony said getting up from his chair almost knocking it over storming out of the office.
"I apologize. Thank you." I reached out my hand to to take the information of the adoption agency and followed behind Anthony.
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"Anthony we need to talk about this, it'll make us both feel better." He hadn't said a word to me on the ride home from the Doctor. The silence was unbearable, I could tell he felt disappointed.
"What the hell do you want me to say Shante, that I'm sorry. I am. I ruined our dream, I know how bad you want kids and I can't give them to you. I don't feel like a man." He was holding back the tears that wanted to fall from his eyes.
I walked towards Anthony and grabbed both of his hands and placed them around my lower back pressing my chest to his chest. His beard was tickling the top of my forehead. I looked up into his dark brown eyes and used the back of my hand to wipe away the tear that escaped his eyes.
"I love you Anthony, we're gonna be okay. We're gonna get our family. And even if we don't I still get to spend the rest of my life with you, that's all I really want." I stood on my tip toes and placed a soft kiss on his big lips. " Go change your clothes and turn on the game, I'm gonna start dinner." Anthony smiled at me and went upstairs to our bedroom. As soon as I herd the bathroom door shut and the shower start I fell to my knees and started crying, I'll never get the chance to have babies.
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"Anthony we should look at the brochure that the Doctor gave us so we can get everything together and try to meet someone at the adoption agency." I had just come from the grocery store and Anthony had just got done with work, he had closed a deal on a three hundred thousand dollar house so he was in a better mood. "Maybe we can get in soon and have a baby within the next few months." I started unpacking the chicken and asparagus from the grocery bag.
"Shante no, I already told you I don't want to adopt." I thought that he had just said that because he was still mad at first, it had been a week since our appointment.
"But Anthony-" I couldn't even finish my sentence.
"But nothing, we can't have babies Shante. I don't want to adopt some one else's child. I'm not gonna do it." Anthony loosened his tie around his neck and left the kitchen. I stood there fighting back my tears.
•Unedited•
