It takes some time for my eyes to get used to the morning bright sun. I didn't close the stores of the window yesterday night. That's weird, I always do it.
" Hello there. " I hear a crakled voice saying behind me.
Suddenly, it all comes back to my mind in flashes. The date, Antoine and I, the restaurant, the epic sex. How could I forget that!
" Hey... " I pause. " We should get ready before someone notices you haven't slept in your room. "
I start getting out of the bed but Antoine grabs my hand and makes me sit back next to him.
" Are you gonna ignore me and ignore what happened last night? "
" Ugh. I...I don't know what to do anymore. "
" You said you loved me. " he says looking into my eyes.
" But is it worth risking losing my job..? "
" So what? You've slept with me and now you're going to act like nothing happened? Sorry but I'm not okay with that. "
" I need some time Antoine. Just...give me a few days so I can think about all this. " I take his hand. " I don't regret anything, last night was the best night of my life. But many things are at stake and I want to be sure I'm making the right choice. "
Antoine leaves my room, visibly disappointed by my reaction. I feel a bit lost, to say the least. I don't know what to do anymore. I finally get up, fasten my hair and jump into sports clothes.
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Go jogging is the best solution to my problem right now. This way I'd be able to escape from the whole Antoine thing. I don't know for how long I've been jogging but when I pass in front of an ice cream truck, I decide an ice cream wouldn't be bad to comfort me. I sit on a bench in a quiet place and finally take my phone out to call my mum. I should have done this days before but I haven't really found time to do it.
3 days have passed and I did my best to avoid Antoine. I still haven't made my decision about our relationship so I didn't want to confront him. I have to admit that I miss him though. Every time our eyes connect, I feel like burning from the inside. I miss being around him and it literally kills me to stay away from him. But I have to. That's for the best, I think. I've talked to Rapha about all this. Of course he disagrees with me and he doesn't understand why I make it so complicated. Boys. Never thinking about the future.
Today is Switzerland-France day and it's actually the best thing that could happen. Drowning into work would help me forget about Antoine. At least for a moment. I have checked every reservations with Erwan these past few days. Here we are, in Salvador de Bahia, entering the stadium. The boys quickly go on the field so they can warm up.
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