stay // njh

0.1

Reagan.

I walked the halls of the living hell known as highschool. No one ever noticed me, and if they noticed me for too long, they never stay.

It's not like I cared anyway, I liked being independent, even if it meant being alone.

People would say that I had a... troubled life. And by people I mean councilors. I see Collins once a week. If I had to choose one thing to define kind and caring, it'd be Collins.

I am not a normal teenage girl, but in today's society, a normal teenage girl is the common white girl. I mean I love coffee, but I'm not that into the PSL or whatever people are calling it. I also rarely talk, I hate the sound of my voice, unless the words I'm speaking come from my pen or pencil.

I always feel peoples eyes on me, I know I say I don't get noticed. To define not getting noticed, I mean people always talk about how much of a freak I am, as if I didn't know.

"I hear her mom is a prostitute and doesn't even charge a dime."

"Reagan, can you hit me up with some of that cocaine your dad snorts."

"Hey Winters, I'm feeling extra horny tonight, can you have your mom come over?"

"Swear her dad beat up her mom, that's why he left. I also know that her mom does the same thing to her."

Their stupid words and unclever insults don't hurt me, but guide me on my tale of misery and despair. As much as I'd love at least one person in my life to stay, I kind of love this feeling of lonliness. It sounds totally insane, but I don't want to tell everyone everything.

My thoughts are bottled up or written down and no one will ever understand, I wish I was more open. I can't trust anyone or anything, I lust over people who don't know I exist.

I want you to teach me to trust and love again. I want you to help me become me again, before the storm struck and took away everything I had. I know I'm not perfect but I want to be for you. That is why I'm here and that is why I want you to stay a little while longer. Hope builds inside of me when I see you....

but you don't know I exist.

The words I wished I said when the blonde haired, blue eyed boy brushed passed me in the hallway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and you guys thought I was gone ;))))

reunited and it feels so good. heres a new story, credit for idea to inflouence so go follow her.

aaannnndddd idk if I like this yet, wish me luck

xoxo,

gossip girl

^^^^ I needed to do that ignore my weirdness