To Protect (TFP Ratchet x Gender Neutral Reader)

Chapter 3 - Something you couldn't quite grasp

A/n Haven't touched this in a while but had the urge to write, kinda out of practice but here we go

Leaning against your palm, your (e/c) settled upon the orange and white medic. Familiar, no matter how many times you glance past him you always believed he was someone else, someone important... but you can never quite get a grasp on who.

"Take a picture it lasts longer," the low voice echoed through the empty base. With the so-called team Prime all gone due to Decepticon activities, the only sound there was were the buzzing of the computers and the sound of the medic moving.

Jumping slightly at the sudden words coming from the Autobot medic, you quickly averted your gaze in complete embarrassment. You've done it many times before, staring that is, but the medic never acknowledged and eventually you came to the conclusion he didn't notice it, considering how much he always had when the remainder of the team was out dealing with the 'cons.

"Right, sorry about that." You mumbled a quick apology, as silence took place once again followed by the sound of hid digits against the keyboards. The air was thick and heavy, you felt like you might choke to death if he stopped typing and much to your dismay he stopped. But the silence wouldn't have last much longer either with your thoughts spinning in your head. "Hey Ratchet...?"

Earning a hmm sound from the medic you continued with hesitancy in your voice, it's something that's been bothering for a while now. But you had no one to talk to, you've tried talking to Cliffjumper but he doesn't seem to understand what you had meant. You couldn't go bother the Prime, he seemed to be always busy, Bulkhead doesn't seem like he would understand much, and Arcee still doesn't trust you despite knowing each other for three human months. "Have you ever... Have you ever felt like something is missing from your life? Something important but you could never quite get the grasp of what it is," you asked, gripping our hands into a fist at the thought but then quickly added, "I know it's probably due to the amnesia, but it's something really important... I just know it's important."

Shifting your gaze back onto the Autobot medic, the room had fallen silent once again when the medic stopped. Your gaze met for a few long-lasting seconds; you've never seen the cranky mech look like that. His exhausted blue optics held hope, pain, regrets, sorrow, and more than you can't quite read. Your spark tightened in pain at the sight of his expression, it was gone within a second, but it doesn't change the fact that it was there and all you wanted at the moment was hold him and soothe the pain away. Ridiculous isn't it, you barely know the medic.

"I..." Your attention was drawn back to the real world when Ratchet spoke ever so softly, "I do. The feeling of something not in place but you could never figure out what despite the answer being right in front of you, despite they're right beside you," he spoke as he was telling an old tale, his voice was slow and mournful. You didn't understand the way he looked at you, his blue optics held so many emotions that you couldn't quite comprehend what it meant anymore. "But that's just life sometimes isn't it?" He continued to himself, lowering his gaze back down onto the screens.

"Yeah... yeah, something like that." You could only nod with a barely audible reply as you turned to stare at the walls of the base. The look he had when he looked at you, his voice when he spoke those heavy words, they imprinted inside your mind as you couldn't stop thinking about it, wondering about it. It seemed like those words were meant for someone, someone he had lost due to the war. "Hey Ratchet..." you began once again, "Tell me if I'm stepping over my boundaries, but those words... what you just said, they're meant for someone aren't they?"

He didn't reply, not for a long time at least. His movement slowed, there were seconds of pauses between his actions and typing. You didn't ask anymore, not wanting to anger the medic or cause pain to him, so you just remained silent and let the questions wash over you.

"Yes, I suppose they are." When he did reply minutes had passed, but he just continued like the conversation did not just get devoured by the silence just then. "They are meant for someone I used to know, someone that I refuse to accept are long gone..."

You weren't expecting him to reply, or even continue to share the story behind it. But he did, and you were grateful that he was willing to share his story with you. The moment was comforting almost, the time to seemed to have slowed down as the medic spoke of this bot that he once held dear, this bot that he owed his life to, this unnamed bot that was far out of his reach now. But even moments like this can't last forever, both of you were pulled back from his memories when the commlink began to beep followed by the Prime's voice requesting a space bridge.