The Second To Last Human Alive

Chapter 4 - Three Arguments Against Science

“We’re clearly traveled backwards in time this time,” said Mint, matter-of-factly, “I remember hearing that the Space Mall used to be a military deep-space research station. Plus all this junk looks ancient. I mean, look at this thing,” she tapped the glass behind which a tie-dye lava lamp was bubbling.

Randal looked, as though he would glean even the slightest morsel of information from looking at the bizarre device. It didn’t look ancient to him.

“They’re siphoning off energy from Warpspace. Good job guys, maybe tomorrow you could get to work on that wheel everyone’s been brainstorming about.”

“You really need to get over this, yes technology is less advanced in the past,” said Randal.

“It’s just so ostentatious,” said Mint, turning so Randal couldn’t see her blush.

* * * 

On a monitor, a mile deeper into the space station, two men watched Mint blush on a large monitor hanging stationary in the air. Smaller screens hovered around it, displaying other sections of the ship.

“Where could they have come from?” asked the first man. He was standing over the other man, hovering really. It was clearly not his office they were in.

“We’re in the process of a deep scan through the entire station, but I have to say I doubt we’re going to find anything. Those two seem to have just appeared out of thin air,” replied the other man, who was seated in front of the screen.

“They very well might, what I want to know is who they are and how they did it.”

“The female would appear to be from an advanced society. She recognized the warp reactor and scoffed at it. Plus she has metal thing on the side of her face.”

“Yes, thanks. Very detailed. She has a metal thing. As opposed to what? A ceramic goo-gaw?”

“You’re the scientist, you tell me. I’m just the watcher, and what I see is a metal thing.” 

“Well keep watching. Don’t miss a thing, but don’t contact me again unless it’s an emergency. I’ve come too far to let a couple of religious fanatics destroy my work.”

“Religious fanatics?” the Watcher had been under the impression he understood the conversation up until that point.

“Well who else would want to sabotage progress? My work is going to revolutionize the known universe, and those superstitious neo-luddites can’t stand it. Every step forward science takes is another step backwards their personified weather and talking juju bushes have to take, and they know it.”

“You think those two are luddites?”

“Well no, obviously. They’re scientifically advanced. That means they’re saboteurs, hired by luddites. They would need incredibly advanced saboteurs for them to understand my work enough to destroy it.”

“You can tell all this from 5 minutes of video?”

“To the scientific mind, my boy, time is irrelevant. I was able to sum them up the moment I lay eyes on them. Using science. Now keep an eye on the saboteurs and don’t bother me again. My work is too important to humanity, nay, to all sapient life!”

The scientist waved his arms in the air as he spoke these last words, and marched out the door. An energy field surrounding the door tore the scientist into a quattuorvigintillion pieces, blasted the scientist bits through micro-wormholes and into his lab, where it reassembled him with 99.72% accuracy.

“Alright, stop what you’re doing. We’re going to run the first full test of the system,” the Scientist barked at his assistant.

“But we’re not finished all the simulations. Isn’t this taking an unnecessary risk?”

“My boy, you are mired in 9:00 a.m. thinking. It is now almost half past noon, and the paradigm have changed. There are highly advanced fanatical luddite saboteurs on the loose, and we no longer have the luxury of safety. My work is too important. Science demands that we begin the experiment as soon as I’ve finished making a few last second modifications. For science.”