【Outlet】| Original Oneshot Book

【シアン】

Letter from your own head and friend.

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My name is Shian. I have no age, gender, race or independence.

I am Satsuki's internal voice except i am alive with my own personality. I am both her regrets and pride.
The voice and image that makes her hide under her blankets despite being almost an adult.

I guide her to not be stupid, i guide her through her loneliness, i guide what words she say in case of adrenaline and someone is about to give the poor girl a panic attack.

Sometimes i voice her friends. They ask questions, she answers and makes a joke and they laugh. Giving her joy despite it being all in her head. I'm proud for the girl.

Or i can be her own universe where we create and act out scenarios. Satsuki visuals things almost vividly but forgets them as soon as our little roleplay ends.

She will never remember the friends she admires so dearly the questions they asked or the joked she made up. Or the scenarios she created for herself.

I'm only here to guide her. But...Satsuki has been having a lot of problems lately. Mostly romantic problems. Of course, i'm going to use metaphors because why the ever loving bloody hell would i want that pretty little lady to find out how she basically ruined my life. Well, Satsuki's life but i suffered the most, constantly having to give her scenarios of that vile wrench cheating and abusing her only for her to want her back. Disgusting.

This lady's name was...Butterfly. Because butterflies are disturbing. Butterfly is a young, Jewish, Norwegian, Writer, lady who supposedly "fell in love" with Satsuki.
But, on their first month together, she broke her heart into smithereens! Saying that Satsuki wasn't putting enough effort. So she tried, and tried, and tried, and tried! I told her she wasn't worth her tears or her misery. But did she listen?

Sadly, no. On their first year anniversary. She broke her heart, again, of course, and she left her. Saying it was all a lie, all the sweet nothings she whispered to her, all the things she planned were lies to keep her happy. AND I HEARD EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE WHISPERS MY GOD THEY MAKE ME SICK.

AAAAAANNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD Satsuki loses! Again.

Now Satsuki. Listen. I know you will read this, so.

You can either keep on going, try giving her bits and pieces of your love as she breaks your heart over, and over again. Or. You give up and find someone who would never tolerate you not being happy. Someone honest and someone who is willing to do anything for you.

Now please...choose. No both, neither or in between shit.

Choose and you can either be free or free but with a fragile job.

Thank you.
Good night.