【Outlet】| Original Oneshot Book

【Before i knew it】

You told me i was special when we met. You noticed me and said i was your inspiration. I saw you with black hair and blue eyes with a mature kind personality. Before i knew it. I fell for your presence.

You fell in love with first and hid your feelings for her. While you were talking to me, i was just a nothing but a acquaintance, your jokes were funny yet depressing, your language was a bit messy, more about you was revealed and i saw half of you. Before i knew it. I fell for your talent.

You fell for second. She was amazing. You kept writing and pacing. I had expectations for your voice, name and face. You revealed it and it was full of grace. You said you were ugly but everyone strongly disagreed. More about you rotted off and i saw no emotion or remorse in those grey eyes.

You kept writing and writing, we kept talking and talking. First was gone, second disappeared. Third came by your side and comforted your loneliness. As we kept talking, more about your nature revealed, you were just like me. So soft and strong. Before i knew it. I fell for you...but quickly hid and killed it.

Third fled and you were alone with me. You confessed, and the feelings grew back. I had a script for every situation...but i went off-script and said yes.

We were happy, sad and then filled with joy. But as i worked harder and harder. I became a toy. You started feeling numb and cried to the man in the clouds...then suddenly we talked...you were gone...i should've never went off-script...

I said i was fine. But deep inside that was a lie.
It was true i loved you and i wanted you to be happy. But i don't anyone else getting that smile.
I don't trust your words anymore, your own restrictions.
I said i loved you but there was a hint of lust when i was disposed of.
Every memory and second of you burned into my mind and memories.
Every word involving those times hurt like needles filled with tears got stabbed into my eye.
You said if it wasn't for them. I'd still be happy. WE'D...still be happy.

...then i suddenly wanted to go to hell...but i'm already in there.
All the words i wanted to say were spilled and spread out.
But there are still words that i wanted to spill but...it's wrong and selfish for me to say them...
But if i want to let go of that religious idiot. I might as well say it.
"Don't leave" "You promised." "Coward." "Everything was nothing more than lies and platonic truths." "L I A R!!"

Before i knew it, i said the truth to myself...

"I love you you stupid adorable nun...please, i miss your warmth...Nathalie."

-Rida Pearl.

May you rest in peace and find someone braver than Her.

________________________________________
______________________________

I hope you guys enjoyed~

Bye~!!