How selfish of me...

hold you.

Have you ever wanted to hold someone?

No not just embrace them in your arms... Really hold someone?

Well I have, I wanted to hold her so dear to me that I hoped she would slowly get fed up by my natural scent. I wanted to hold her hour glass figure and embrace the fact that she could be time itself. I wanted to pull her flush against me until our bodies meld together as one, I wanted her so close to me I could build a home in her and hopefully finally find comfort in this fucked up world.

She is quickly seeing through my façade bringing out a person I had locked away for none to see.

I want to hold her dearly.

She is approaching the monster not even phased by the fact that it is; chained, bruised beat- beat burnt and struck down to the deepest darkest points of my personal hell.

I want to heal her.

She stands in front of the monster not even recoiling at the monster's animosity but maybe thriving off it.

I want her to tame the beast.

I want to be able to gently guide my fingers along her skin and feel the way her body reacts to my touch. Trailing down to every curve and corner until I know every single one of them off by heart, so well I could tell if she becomes bloated with insecurity and I'll be there to release her of such a burden.

Have you ever seen something so intimate yet so innocent?

I just want to hold her, like we are the last two living beings on the earth, hold her as if the sky was falling down and I was teaching her how to fly through it. Oh gosh I want to hold her, take her in as if she is slowly ceasing to exist, as if the blessed Sun's kisses and fairy dust that she is made up of is departing from her and I can do nothing but hold her.

I want to learn about you.

I want to look at your sleeve and find your heart and scrutinise it until you feel uncertain about me, but I'm doing no wrong I'm only looking for a crack in it.

And I swear on the universe if I find one...

I will unleash the monster you tried so hard to tame. The monster will come walking and like a crime scene investigator I will find the find the halfwit who thought it was acceptable to taint you.

Or maybe I'm the fool, have I rushed in too quickly?

~ 20/08/19