How selfish of me...

wish for you.

She, a well. So full of what might be tears but you don't notice the difference between water and tears until you hear that penny of concern you've dropped down her throat. You can hear the difference in the ripple of liquid when the coin makes an impact.

Then and only then will you start to understand her.

Her mouth tastes like copper from all the coins I've placed on her tongue wishing for anything that would have benefited her.

Have you ever wished for someone to like you?

Well, I've wished for her to love me.

My concerns, which were welded into copper coins are now slowly starting to fill her. You now are able to hear her before you see her, my pennied wishes clash against the walls of her body to the profound extent where now a seed of guilt has rooted in my stomach.

Due to the simple matter that I asked for too much of her. I wished for things not even she could grant.

But she tried...

Wasn't that enough?

Of course it wasn't, it never is.

Have I turned my greed for her into dissatisfaction now that my merciless cerebellum cannot be satisfied?

The simple anatomy of my brain which controls speech to basic motor skills chooses not to be satisfied till it knows she is satisfied and doesn't need to try anymore.

Until satisfied, I cannot speak, sit straight and or achieve some type of basic action. For the safety of hers and mine I desire to know if she is satisfied.

Her mouth tastes like copper, whenever she kisses me I recoil, guilt ridden by the taste of my wishes. She asks me "what's wrong" I dismiss the statement, too scared of what my tongue will say if not held back by my hyoid bone or filtered by my teeth. I pull her back in again for all I can give her is my warmth.

I truly am useless, I cannot provide for such a goddess and can only take I am the parasite and she the host.

I take, I will suck you dry and caress your face whilst doing so. But I will love you and I will be loyal to you.

And for that I will continue to fill her with the copper coins of selfish wishes and proceed to love her because that's how much of a bad person I am.

God I am selfish.

~18/07/18