How selfish of me...

not believe you.

She's telling me she loves me but I know she's lying.

I know what she is feeling is infatuation, a short lived burst of emotions.

I am angered by her.

How dare you make it seem like you feel something for me? How dare you take this blackened, shrivelled up heart into your angelic clutches and tear it apart?

What did I do to you?

How could you claim to feel such intense emotions for me then rip the claim out of my clutches? I know I'm a bad person but I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy.

I pity you.

I pity you because if you're telling the truth about how you feel you're stupid, I cannot be loved because I am a bad person and bad people don't deserve love.

But then again you're lying so I feel nothing for you.

Ugh! But I do.

I should hate you.

I should be cursing you to the furthest points of my personal hell, I should be hating you with everything I own I should hate you so hard.

But I don't...

I don't hate you at all.

For fucks sake I don't hate you at all.

Maybe because I am completely and utterly in love with you and I hate myself because I've allowed myself to get there.

But so have you...

But you're brave enough to actually admit these feelings you have acquired.

I don't give a fuck about your feelings.

I'm sorry you feel this way about me ******a.

I love you really, I just am not wired to express it.

29/08/19

-A poet completely doubled over in pain