How to take a hostage (Johnny Depp fanfiction)

Chapter 16

When I opened my eyes I saw John sitting in front of me.

Again.

Wow everything repeated itself. All the time.

Awkward situations, and me passing out or falling asleep.

Seeing him when I woke up.

This time his look was even more worried than the last time. Well, my behavior wasn't easy to interpret, I guess. Not caring about almost getting raped and kissing him, and then suddenly screaming and crying. I remembered the feeling. A shiver went over my whole body. Not even the blanket wrapped around me helped. I felt cold from the inside. He handed me over a cup of tea, studying my facial expressions to find out in which mood I was now. I drank a bit of the tea, it was hot and filled at least a bit of warmth into me. I didn't want to talk to him. He wouldn't understand it again and being careful and helpless. So I turned my face and looked out of the window. The leaves were colored orange completely. It was beautiful, soon it must be Halloween. How much I loved that time of the year.

And then I remembered the saliva and the alcohol again. It blew the view away. Disgusting. I felt something coming up my throat and didn't wait to explain it, I jumped out of bed and ran to the bath room. He found me when I was hanging over the toilet, puking the soul out of me. Slowly he sat down next to me and pushed my hair behind my ear. He didn't grab it, he tried to avoid touching me. I don't know if it helped, but I couldn't be mad at him, the last time we were kissing, I got a panic attack and went out. When I was finished my throat burned as fire. Without saying a word he handed me a glass of water. A thankful look in my eyes I grabbed and emptied it with one gulp. And then I remembered the hands. Those greedy hands wandering over my body and squeezing my boobs. I had the same feeling as before, fast I went back to the toilet. It went on. I couldn't stop throwing up the whole day. At some point my stomach was empty, there was nothing that could have came out, but still I was retching.

He didn't leave the bath room the whole day. He did nothing, just stayed in the background and gave me a worried look. Knowing he was there was the only thing that kept me up. The point where it was awkward had long passed. No one of us said a word, but we understood each other at a higher level. That sounded like one of those bad novels where the girl just falls in love with someone she hasn't spoken a word to, and thinks she has a connection to him. How poor.

Seemed as my life also got that poor. Slowly the retching got less and less and all I wanted to do is to clean my entire body. So I turned my head asking him if I might shower. My voice sounded as if I've swallowed tons of sand and it felt exactly that way. "Sure", he left the room, "If you need something or if anything happens, just scream!" Wouldn't be too difficult, if I learned one thing the last time, then it was screaming.

I took a deep breath before I went showering and I could feel all those disgusting things leaving my body and my mind. It would heal. The back as well as the mind. I had to break down. It was better to break down now than breaking down somehow later when it probably got worse. After brushing my teeth I felt clean. I opened the door of the bath room and he was sitting in front of it, immediately jumping up when he saw me. Shy I asked him if I might get a book from the library room. I decided to pick an old fairy tale book to escape my mind and calm down. It didn't work. I had to think about the things that happened.

Why did I almost got raped? Why did the man do this? And why did John come back? Didn't he want leave me there waiting till someone finds me? A bitter laugh came up my throat. Well someone found me. I wish I'd knew the answer to those questions, but I wouldn't get them that fast, so I looked at the moon, slowly fading away. Sleep was as welcome as reading. Escaping my mind. And escaping those thoughts about raping perverts and John's that come back.