Shklance Stories

■ One-Shot: Home ■

I found no cure for the loneliness, I found no cure for the sickness.

"One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!"

Keith cracks the slightest smile. He remembers that. He always played quick, stupid games with his dad. He got so excited over thumb wars. And then he got older, and they played basketball. Keith didn't like it much, so he stayed in and played video games. But no matter what he enjoyed, his dad played with him.

But now his dad is gone. And there's nothing Keith enjoys anymore. In truth, there was always a hint at his sadness deep down, even when playing games. Would his father join him in this new game? Life is just a big competition anyway, survival of the fitness, natural selection...

"Even when you lose, you win."

You're right, Dad, I win, it all stops.

With a blank face, Keith relaxes into his soft bed cushions, and draws a line down his forearm.

Home--a place where I can go to take this off my shoulders; someone take me home.

Lance screamed Keith's name. Shiro ran to the doorway to find what was wrong. Lance was frozen in place, tears falling. The blood was still dripping from Keith's wrist, so he mumbled, "[your country's hotline]." Shiro felt a wave of emotions he wasn't sure what to feel, so without mentally reacting he dialed the number.

After everything I witnessed, after all of these decisions--all the miles, feet, inches... they can't add up to the distance...

Keith groaned as his eyes fluttered open. A bright light was emitting from an opened window, and as his vision came into focus his two roommates were... holding his hands...

He looked down, noticing monitors and hospital sheets, and it hit him, flooding into his mind like every other intrusive thought during the day.

Keith scowled, and Lance glanced up at his face to see him awake. He smiled profoundly, and wiped his cheeks--Keith now noticing he'd been crying. Shiro, on his other side, sat up straight and rubbed Keith's shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" Lance asked before Shiro could struggle to get the words out.

Keith just nodded, looking down at his lap.

"Do you remember anything?"Shiro spoke, and Keith realized how hoarse his throat was.

Keith simply nodded again.

Keith felt like he should be angry, and happy, right now. Angry because this wasn't fair and it could've worked and they're putting themselves through too much trouble--yet, happy they did it. Instead he felt nothing. Nothing at all. Just... a pit of emptiness, and a bit of self-shame as he felt so stupid.

"Keith, what were you thinking?" Lance voiced Keith's exact thoughts.

Keith nodded again, unsure of what to say, scared he'd open his mouth and not be able to talk.

"What do you mean?" Shiro asked, slipping his hand back down to Keith's hand. Why are they holding my hands? Keith couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

In response to Shiro's question, Keith sighed. He didn't know. He didn't have the energy to come up with a lie. He just stared intently at his lap, covered in hospital blankets that--inconveniently enough--weren't very comfortable at all.

Lance rested his head down on his and Keith's intertwined hands. Shiro rubbed circles on Keith's hand with his thumb.

Lance had never been through something like this, neither has Shiro. They didn't know what to do. When someone they love does something so drastic, it's hard to think of what to do, other than just sit there and watch. At least, they hope they're being noticed, so Keith doesn't feel so alone...

In case this fate is forever, just to be sure these last days are better...

Keith sighed again. This felt uncomfortable. Why did he do that? Why couldn't he just get out of his head?

He looked back at Lance, who still had his head on their hands. He was here. He looked over at Shiro, who's eyes were laced with concerned, then looked back down. He was here too. His dad isn't, or his mom. That's not fair to say, though.

Keith coughed to get their attention and swallowed the lump in his throat, "I'm sorry."

Lance drew a hand up to Keith's cheek, but Keith refused to make eye contact.

"It's okay," Lance replied. "But please tell someone next time. Please. I can't... we can't... lose you. It would tear me apart if I lost you. I just want you to be safe, and I want to help make you happy."

Keith glanced at Shiro, who inhaled sharply, "I'm sorry I don't know what to say, Keith. But... I love you."

Keith scowled deeply at his lap, furrowing his eyebrows. He tried to ignore his thoughts, because he didn't want to think of his crush as a liar, but it was hard to.

"You can make it, Keith," Shiro advised.

Keith nodded slightly, unsure if either boys could tell, and unsure if he believed it. He might be. If he isn't stupid next time, he might be. Lance leaned over and kissed Keith's cheek. Maybe for them, he might. Unhealthily enough, maybe he might.

**Note: I've never been to a hospital for a suicide attempt, and my attempts haven't been as serious. So, please forgive me if I've described the experience incorrectly. I plan to grow and expand my knowledge about the topic, I've just been feeling down lately after a recent semi-attempt so I thought I'd write something. Thank you for your understanding.

I have a book of oneshots up now. Go check it out xoxo