Today (8/20/19) my best friend who's just getting into the idea of BDSM and everything asked me many quitting pertaining to me.
She asked me how I got into it because I'm naturally so brash and loud but in my submissive state, I change.
I explained my trauma:
"I'm the way I am for multiple reasons. One being that I never had a father figure in my life that was domineering. It was always my mother and my dad was more of a friend that a dad. Another being that since I was bullied so much growing up, I crave the ability to control how I'm hurt, no matter what I consent to, I need that control. Another reason being I need someone to take my stress and need to be controlled from me."
It was a very insightful convo. There's a ton more I said pertaining to all of this, but I'm tired and I don't want to bore anyone
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