I think the first time I even thought about BDSM was when I was 12 in the 7th grade. Wattpad was the culprit of my fascination.
I don't remember what book I read that made me research it but it was an adventure. I already knew what sexual gratification was and what arousal was. (That I taught myself about by reading a little further in my school's health books. My school sucked at sexual education)
I wasn't in the dark at all about the birds and bees. Matter of fact, I never got the talk because I knew all the basics. I was really interested in SEX. Not in a perverted way, just a scientific way because the human body is interesting.
Anyway, I only remember googling BDSM on my cracked Samsung tablet and reading the basics. I thought it was weird but interesting enough to keep learning about it.
That same year, I learned that I enjoyed being slapped like a stupid bitch and publicly humiliated through incidents. One being I pissed my mom off and she got me one good time across the face. I think I actually moaned.
The other I managed to flash myself in the pool and a really cute guy called it out. He was the only one who saw and then he proceeded to tell his friends when I was covered up.
Amazing. (But also kinda traumatic because I was molested that year too.)
As I got a little older, I dove in deeper to things I didn't understand.
Then a started practicing methods a Dom would on their submissives.
Oh goodness, it was great. Around the time I was 14, I had a girlfriend who was submissive but so was I so it never worked. I would get upset and act up and she would get scared.
Never again.
I cheated on her with a Dom that was actually one of her closer friends.
Not my best moment but it was enlightening. He got me to act right and then we fell out and I never talked to him again.
Then I broke up with her and was single for a little bit because I wasn't ready for anything.
I practiced some more on myself and realised I'm into a lot of crazier shit.
I liked to be slapped around and degraded like a common whore. I liked hearing the words that I was a useless little slut. I loved that more than any other sweet nickname.
It's been an adventure ever since.
