FOOLS

Chapter 10

Namjoon didn't think he would come back here for another year, or whenever he felt that his mother was ready to leave. But here he is, standing in front of the gold plated gate. His family crest reflecting onto his face under the moonlight. The symbol was one that Namjoon never particularly liked. Phoenix out of the ashes, it signified how strong his family is no matter the storms that they faced. To him, the phoenix had lost all its glory and he wished it had burned.

He wished it wasn't his family, he wished his father wasn't Jungkook's father. Not because he didn't want Jungkook to be in his family, but the boy had endured so much by the man who was supposed to be his father. The car ride gave Namjoon a lot of time to think about the situation. He had a brother for a lack of a better word and his brother was the notorious mafia gang that Namjoon had promised to take out. Right now, Namjoon couldn't even imagine hurting a hair on Jungkook's head, even if he needs to be punished by society. That's how the world runs, unjustified blame and punishment.

The gate pushed back by themselves before Namjoon could even punch in the codes. He wasn't surprised. His eyes trailing to the camera hidden by the stone pillars, his every movement was being observed and predicted. As much as he hates to admit it, that's probably where Jungkook gets it from, and himself. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree unfortunately.

Every step Namjoon took felt like his feet were tied to ravenous tigers, sometimes they ran, hungry for the attack. But sometimes they pulled him back, avoiding the light of the upstairs room at all cost. It was the same room his father had glued himself to ever since Namjoon was in his cradle. It was the same room he would take that woman, nom Jungkook's mother, when she was over. After the first day he brought her home, that room was off limits to everyone.

The door cracked open a little bit, Namjoon could see a glow pouring out as he walked up the steps. The glow reminded him of flames just as they began to burn, it was a subtlety that invites you in and then encapsulates you completely. He pushed the door back quietly, not wanting to wake up his mother who was down the hallway. His father's glasses gleamed in the moonlight, Namjoon couldn't see his eyes. But he could see the golden pen in between his fingers, tapping on the desk like a mallet. It mirrored Namjoon's heartbeat.

"You're here late." his father said, voice low enough to crawl to Namjoon's body, numbing him for the moment. He took his glasses off and turned to face Namjoon.

"How did you know I would come?"

"You are my son after all, if I don't know you, who does?"

Namjoon scoffed audibly. As he rolled his eyes, he observed the movement of the room. Awards and pictures of his father with the president and high level politicians hung as reminders to Namjoon ust how great of a person his father is. They were also weights on Namjoon's shoulders, and his father was the one pushing them against Namjoon until his feet would sink into the ground and he could no longer fly.

The last time Namjoon was here, he was 18 and it was the day he told his father he would move out. He only nodded and gestured for the maids to move everything out from Namjoon's room. There wasn't a goodbye, not even one last glance.

"But I'm not your only son. Don't act surprised, I know you're incapable of that." Namjoon took a seat on the leather couch and looked down at his hands, some things he knew for sure belonged to him completely. "I thought of how you could just send a young boy away because he was inconvenient. I then wondered if you would have done it to me if that boy was me, and then I laughed because I know you would without a second thought. That didn't make me sad. What breaks my heart is knowing I was as much of a culprit as you are."

"How did you find the boy?" his father asked. It was the first time in Namjoon's life that he heard concerned and fear in his father's voice. It trembled lightly, like a cough, but Namjoon saw through it right away.

"That's none of your concern. What I'm most interested in was whether or not you would ever tell me about him. Or eomma."

His father visibly gulped and Namjoon sucked in this glorious moment where he was overpowering the man for once. But it didn't last long. His father sat up in his seat and pressed his elbows forward on his mahogany table. Namjoon caught sight of the photo frame planted on the side of the table, one of the three of them on Namjoon's fifth birthday. That was when his smile was genuine towards the man holding his shoulders. But he recognized his mother had the same anxious and sorrowful look in her eyes.

The devil's eyes were back and the room somehow got darker. "Where is the boy?" he growled.

"Why would I tell you?" Namjoon spat back confidently.

His father scoffed. "Even if you don't tell me, I'll find out. And I'll kill him."

This time, it sent a shock to Namjoon. His hair on his neck stood up. "What?"

"He's an unwanted bastard that will bring shame to my family. Even more than you have. I should have killed him when I had the chance."

Being degraded by his father in this fashion wasn't something Namjoon was unfamiliar with. It's a phrase he often hears, when he wasn't first in his class, first in his unit, not even when he became lead investigator. Nothing will even be good enough. His senses were heightened at the threat to Jungkook's life. "You wouldn't dare. Don't you forget I can arrest you right now."

His father laughed for quite some time, he was truly amazed by the courage his son was radiating right now. "You fool, you have no power right now. No matter what I do, I'll never be put in jail. I hold all the power. And I'll let you in on a little secret." He got up from his seat and glided over to his son, like the monsters Namjoon had conjured up, except this made his body numb. Instinctively, Namjoon stood up as well. Even though Namjoon was taller than him by almost a foot, he aura oozing out from his father made him feel small. Like a helpless faun. He tiptoed and leaned into Namjoon's ear to whisper. His heart stopped and he began to cry.

"I killed his mother."