Breaking The Habit (Chester Bennington fanfic)

I'm On My Way Home Sweet Home.

-Michelle-
We finally made it to Denver where we decided to spend the night and make the last leg of the trip tomorrow
I was laying on the hotel bed relaxing while Chester showered off.
I was poking my stomach, making Bailee somersault and kick, watching her little feet poke out and laughing.
Chester opened the door, "What are you laughing at in here?"
"Bailee. I'm poking her and it's making her mad, watch." I poked my belly again, and Bailee shoved her foot against my finger in protest.
Chester's eyes grew, "Whoa, that's cool. Was that her foot?" He sat next to me on the bed.
"Yeah, try it." I said.
He poked me and Bailee kicked back harder than before.
"She's getting more annoyed every time I do it." I laughed.
"Okay, leave her alone. Poor baby is probably trying to sleep." He said.
"She does it to me when I'm trying to sleep. I'm just showing her how it feels." I shrugged.
He kissed my stomach, "I'm sorry baby girl. I'll make mommy stop poking you." He said.
"She's not even here yet, and already you are wrapped around her little finger." I smiled, putting my hand on his shoulder.
"I can't wait until she is here. To hold her and kiss her sweet little face. To talk to her and see her little toothless smile. I already love her so much." He said, smiling.
"Three months. That's all that's left before she's here in our arms." I said.
He laid beside me, putting his arm over my stomach and his head next to mine on the pillow.
I kissed him, "She's going to be daddy's little girl."
"I'll never let anything happen to her. To either of you. You two are my world. I just have to get sober so I can take care of you." He said.
"And I'll be here to support you every step of the way." I said.

The next thing I knew, I woke up and the room was dark.
Chester was asleep next to me, facing away from me.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, then I checked my phone.
3:23 am.
I crawled back in bed and cuddled up as close to him as I could, and fell asleep.

"Michelle, wake up baby." His voice roused me from my sleep, and I opened my eyes.
The only light in the room was coming through the small gap between the curtains, and the TV was on and muted.
"What time is it?" I asked, sitting up.
"6:15 am. I let you sleep a little later while I packed up, but it's time to go." He said.
I got out of bed and changed clothes, brushed my teeth and washed my face before we headed out the door.

"Am I driving?" I asked, closing the trunk.
"No, I am. I'm good babe." He said, kissing my cheek.
"Can we get some food? Bai-Bear is hungry." I said getting in the car.
"Bai-Bear? That's cute. And sure, we can eat, because I'm sure she's the one who's hungry." He smiled.
"She is. Gotta keep the little monkey happy." I shrugged.
We grabbed breakfast to-go and got back on the road.
I played with the radio a little bit before settling on a station.
I liked the song, so I started to sing along.
Chester smiled, "You have the most beautiful voice."
I smiled and sang louder, and slightly off key.
He laughed and joined in, and together we botched the song at the top of our lungs.
I fell back in the seat laughing, "We probably scared Bailee. She's kicking."
He was laughing too, "Sorry Bai-Bear."
I laid my head over on Chester's shoulder, "Maybe I've changed my mind about getting married when we get home." I whispered.
"Have you?" He asked.
"I would rather just do it, because I really am excited about being your wife." I said.
"Well love, we can make that happen." He kissed my hair.
"I want to. Let's do it." I sat up.
"Well, call everyone you have to call and tell them so they can be there, and I'll do the same." He said.
"I'll do it when we get home. How much longer did you say it was?" I asked.
"Fourteen more hours. You'd better get comfortable." He sighed.

Three hours later, I couldn't sit still.
"We can stop if you really need to go." He said for the thousandth time.
"I guess we're going to have to, if I move wrong I'm going to pee myself." I groaned.
"I'll stop in the next town. I need to go too." I could see the sweat starting to bead on his forehead and his hands shaking.
"There's a gas station up there on the right." I pointed.

I ran inside to the bathroom.
When I came out, he was standing against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Occupied?" I asked.
He nods, "Yeah."
I started to walk back to the car when he grabbed my hand, "Come here."
I turned around, "What is it?"
He kissed me, "I love you. And I'm sorry I have to do this, but I promise it's going to get better for us when we get back home." he said.
"I know, that's why it doesn't bother me." I said.
He looked around, "We're only in this mess because of me, and I'm sorry."
"This isn't a mess. You got me back, and we're going home." I said.
"I wouldn't have lost you in the first place if it wasn't for this problem of mine." The door opened and man walked out.
"Your turn. I'll be in the car." I whispered, kissing his cheek.

I got back in the car and got my phone.
I dialed my dad's number and it rang.
"Hello Mickey." he sounded cheerful.
"Hi dad." I replied.
"Are you home now?" he asked.
"Almost. We're in Denver. We had to drive because the airline wouldn't let me fly. This is day three on the road, and I'm hoping it's the last." I said.
"Well, that's good. How's he doing?" he asked.
"Not great. The only way to make it until we get home, is for us to stop every few hours for him. He's going into rehab when we get home, we just have to make it until then, I'm just having a hard time with it. I'm not saying I want to use, I'm saying that I'm scared of what's going to happen when we get home." I said.
"Mickey, like I said, you have to be there for him. He needs you. The only way he's going to get through this is if you support him. Be there for him. He's not going to change his mind because he wants to be with you, and raise Bailee." He said.
"I guess now is the time to tell you, we're getting married when we make it to LA." I said.
"Well good. If I don't make it to the wedding, I'll come visit when I get home." He said.
"Sounds good. I'll be calling the rest of the gang to tell them the good news when we make it home." I said.
"Tell Chauntelle When she's at home. Don't get her screaming at work. She almost got fired the last time." He laughed.
"I'll call her last." I laughed too.
I saw Chester headed back to the car.
"Dad I gotta go. But I'll call you on a couple of days." I said.
"Okay Mickey."

I put my phone up just as he got in the car.
"Who was that?" he asked, starting the engine.
"My dad. Thought I should update him on where we are and how I'm doing, because I know he worries, but he won't call." I said.
"He still in Austria?" he asked.
"Yeah, for a couple more days. I told him we were getting married, and he said that if he didn't make it to the wedding, he'd come visit as soon as he could to celebrate."
"You still haven't decided where you want to go for our honeymoon." he said.
"We have three months to decide that. After the wedding, you're going to rehab, and when you get out, we'll go on our honeymoon. By then I should be able to fly again." I said.
"You know I'm going to call every day. Multiple times a day if I can." he said.
"I know. And I'll answer every single call, because believe me, I am going to miss you as much as you're going to miss me." I said.
"I've never finished putting together Bailee's room, but I've enlisted some help for you to do it while I'm gone, because when I get out there won't be time." he said.
"I said I was going to cross my legs and hold her in until you got home." I told him.
"Well you and I both know that's not going to keep her from coming when it's time, but if I don't make it home for her birth, I know you're going to do an amazing job."
At the mention of her name, Bailee started somersaulting.
"She's ready to meet us." I smiled, putting my hand on my stomach.
Chester covered my hand with his, "We're ready to meet you too, Bailee-Bear." he said.

I fell asleep again, waking up when he stopped.
"Where are we?" I asked, sitting up.
"Don't laugh." Chester smiled.
"I won't, why would I laugh?" I asked.
"We're in Beaver, Utah." he answered, putting the car in park.
I bit my lip to contain my laughter, "Seriously, Beaver?"
He shrugged, "According to the sign back there."
I got out of the car, "Damn I have to pee, how long was I asleep?"
"Seven hours, roughly. You crashed out right outside of Denver."
"So we only have about seven hours left until we get home?" I asked.
"Yeah, not too much longer." he followed me into the store, his arms around my stomach, hugging me from behind.
We grabbed some food and he put gas in the car while I went to the bathroom.
"Do you need to go?" I asked.
He shook his head, "No baby, I stopped a little while ago when you were sleeping. I'll be fine for a little while longer." he said.
I watched him standing at the gas pump, eyes wandering, I bit my lip.
It had only been two days since I'd had him, but for some reason, we're gonna go with pregnancy hormones, I wanted him really bad.
I got out and walked around the car, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, right there in front of everybody.
He was surprised, but he kissed me back, putting his hands on my hips, pulling me closer.
"Think we could get a room, waste a couple of hours?" I whispered.
He smiled against my lips, "You read my mind." his hands wandered around to my ass, squeezing hard.
I moaned softly, nibbling on his lip, "You stop that."
He chuckled, "Get your ass in the car." he kissed me again.

We got in the car and found a hotel down the road.
We didn't even take any luggage, we just raced to the elevator, where we attacked each other as soon as the doors closed, making out like crazy.

As soon as we got into the room and got the door closed behind us, we tore each other's clothes off and attacked each other again.
The minute his fingers touched my bare skin, a chill ran down my spine, and I moaned.
He smiled, and kissed my shoulder.

Three hours later, we checked out of the hotel and walked back to the car.
I laid back in the seat, a smile on my face.
"I don't know about you, but that was amazing." he put his sunglasses on, and grinned at me.
"Definitely." I stretched my legs out, propping my feet on the dashboard.
He kissed the back of my hand, "I love you."
"I love you too, Chester." I replied.

It was two in the morning when we pulled into Los Angeles, and I was fighting sleep.
"We're home." Chester smiled, squeezing my hand.
I looked around at the lights and signs, "Wow, I'd forgotten how beautiful this city was."
He laughed, "Let's go home."

When we pulled into the driveway, he looked at me.
"I'm going to warn you, this house is a wreck. Cleaning has been the last thing on my mind lately." he said.
"It's fine. I'll do my best to clean it up tomorrow." I got out of the car and headed for the front door while he got our luggage out of the trunk.

I unlocked the door and went inside.
Clothes and trash littered the floor, and the faint smell of rotten food drifted into my nose, making my stomach turn.
I went into the living room, where it was evident that he'd been sleeping every night since I left.
There was a blanket and pillow on the couch, and a plate on the coffee table with needles spoons and empty baggies, crowded by empty liquor and beer bottles.
The kitchen counter was littered with take-out containers and more empty bottles, about half a dozen dirty needles in the sink.

I walked down the hall, hands on either wall to keep from tripping on the trash, to our bedroom.
The bed was a bare mattress, covered in clothes, the sheets were thrown on the floor.
"Michelle?" he called from the front door.
I sank down on the mattress, my head in my hands and started to cry.
"I can't believe I left you to live like this." I said.
He managed to make it into the room, putting his arms around me, "It's not your fault babe. I did it to myself." he said hugging me.
He started clearing clothes off the bed and grabbed clean sheets out of the linen cabinet.
He helped me to my feet and made the bed, with a clean blanket and pillows.
I sat back on the bed, and he took my shoes off, rubbing my feet while I cried.
"If you let me clean the tub, you can take a warm bath." he said.
"It's fine, I'll take a shower in the morning, I just want to sleep." I sniffled.
He changed clothes and I did the same, climbing into bed.
He put his arms around me and pulled me close, "It's going to get better, I promise."
I sniffled, "I know, I'm not worried about that. I just don't know how I'm going to pick everything up off the floor." I started to cry again.
He stifled laughter, "Babe, I'll pick everything up off the floor, and do the laundry." he said.
"Okay." I sighed, wiping my eyes.

I heard my phone ringing, and sat up in bed.
The sun was peeking through the blinds, dimly lighting the dirty room, and I had momentary deja vu.
I smelled coffee and heard Chester in the kitchen.
I gingerly got out of bed, making my way down the hall.
He'd picked up the clothes and trash out of the hall, living room and kitchen and was washing dishes.
"Good morning." he smiled, handing me a cup of coffee.
I sat at the kitchen table that was now clean, and looked around, still feeling like I had the first morning I woke up here.
"Deja vu." he said, not looking up from the dishes.
"Big time." I sipped the coffee and felt the warmth travel down my throat to my stomach.
Instantly, Bailee sprung to life, kicking and somersaulting with every sip.
"I've started laundry, but I've got a long ways to go." he said.
"Have you-"
"Yes, that's why I got up before you did, babe." he interrupted me.
I looked into the living room.
The plate of paraphernalia was gone, as were the bottles, and the table was clean again.
I remembered my phone and got up from the table, going into the living room where my purse was still in the loveseat.
I took it out and saw that I had a missed call from my sister and from William.
I dialed Chauntelle's number first, and it rang twice.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hey Chaun, you called?" I asked.
"Yeah, I wanted to see if you'd made it home yet, and how you were doing." She said.
"Yeah, we made it. Got here about two this morning and went to bed. I just got up." I replied, glancing at the clock on the wall.
It was 12:30pm here, meaning it was 2:30pm in Chicago.
"Wow, what is it like noon?" she asked.
"Twelve thirty." I said, going back into the kitchen.
"Well, that's ten hours of sleep, so you should be fueled up and ready to go." She said.
"Then why do I feel exhausted beyond belief?" I asked.
"Because you're six months pregnant and you just made a thirty hour road trip." She laughed.
"Speaking of my daughter, she's kicking like crazy." I sighed, sitting down.
"Have you eaten?" Chauntelle asked.
"Not yet, just got up, remember?" I asked.
"You should eat." She said.
"I plan to. Oh, by the way, while I have you on the phone, I wanted to tell you that I'm getting married." I held the phone away from my ear for the scream that followed.
"When?!" She asked.
I looked at Chester, "Tomorrow. We're going to get the house cleaned up and everything in order today, and then tomorrow we're having a quick, quaint impromptu wedding before Chester goes to treatment." I said.
"OHMYGOD, I'm flying out tonight when I get off work." She squealed.
"Please save your enthusiasm for the ceremony, I don't have the energy for you right now." I said.
"You got it. Does dad and everyone else know yet?" She asked.
"Dad knows, but he's in Vienna until Thursday, so he said that if he doesn't make it to the wedding, he'd come visit when he got back." I said.
"So, would you like to save some time and let me call the rest of the family?" She asked.
"Sure. I've got about a trillion other things to do anyway, so knock yourself out." I sipped my coffee again.
"YAY!!" She cried.
I held the phone away from my ear, sighing.
"Bye Chauntelle." I hung up.

"You set that bomb off." Chester laughed.
"Shut up, and come here." I said, emptying my coffee cup.
He dried his hands and followed me to the bedroom, where I kicked the door shut behind me.
"What's up?" he asked.
I smiled and tackled him to the bed, kissing him.
"Michelle, baby we don't have time right now." he tried to fight me off, but he gave in eventually, and kissed me back.
"What is her problem?" he asked, putting his hand on my stomach.
"Coffee. Nothing gets her going like coffee." I said.
He pulled my shirt off, "I'm going to lecture you about that, but first I'm going to fuck you in our bed, for old time's sake."

A knock on the door caught my attention, and I looked at Chester.
He grabbed his shirt and shorts and headed to answer it.
I wasn't sure where my clothes had gone in the mess on the floor, so I just pulled the blanket up to my chest.
"Hey dude, we saw the car and figured you'd made it home." I heard Mike's voice.
"Yeah, we got home about two this morning." Chester answered.
"Where's Michelle?" Brad asked.
Chester hesitated, "She's back there in our room. She's kind of indecent at the moment."
I rolled my eyes to myself and started rooting around in the floor for my shirt.
I gave up and went to my suitcase, pulling on a pair of shorts and a green t-shirt, I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair back into a ponytail before emerging.
"There she is, hey!" Mike hugged me gently.
"Hey you, how have you been?" I asked.
"I've been doing pretty good, how about you? How are you and the baby?" he asked.
"I'm exhausted and she thinks my bladder is a trampoline, but we're both doing great." I smiled.
"Well, we're glad you're home. We were beginning to think we were never going to see Chester smile again, or see him at all, for that matter." Mike said.
"Well, we've got great news for you then. We're getting married, tonight. And tomorrow he's leaving for treatment." I said.
"That's great! We're invited, right?" he asked.
"Well of course!" I laughed.
"When are you due again?" Dave asked.
"Middle of May." I replied, putting my hands on my stomach.
"Not very long left then." He said.
"Nope, and she reminds me every day." I sighed.
"We can't wait to meet her." Mike said.