Love Mortality (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Part 4: That's Okay (For Now)

He had so many questions swirling around in his mind without any courage to ask them. Kyungsoo initially thought he should be grateful Kai came back to see him in the first place, which didn't give him the right to ask any questions. But then again, he did. After all, it wasn't like he hadn't made his feelings for him known previously and the younger certainly wasn't entirely out of his league. He deserved answers, especially after he sat around for weeks pondering what he did wrong. Yeah. He deserved to ask all the questions he had and then some.

But before he could even open his mouth to let the words out, Kai was kissing him. They hadn't even been inside his apartment for two minutes. Kyungsoo didn't stop him though or pull away before he did; he waited too damn long for that kiss to happen, so he was going to enjoy it.

When he pulled away, he was blushing hard and he slowly let his hands slide back down to his sides. "I-I'm sorry, I just...I've been wanting to do that since the moment I saw you," Kai said, his eyes never wavering off of Kyungsoo's despite how clearly embarrassed he was. "And I know you want answers, a-and I'll give them to you, but I just had to let you know that despite me being gone for so long, my feelings for you haven't changed one bit." The elder's face was still unchanged from the shock of what had just happened, which worried Kai, so he added on. "P-Plus, you said before you wanted me to give you something next time and that was really all I could think of giving you."

Kyungsoo's face was still frozen, but after his mini monologue was over, a smile crept on to his lips. "Um, well," he said as he cleared his throat, "thank you. It was really nice." Kai smiled a little smile. "But you're right, I do have a lot of questions and I'm not the type to just brush over these things because I really like you."

"I know you're not and I would never think that. So, ask away. I'll answer everything the best way I can right now."

"Right now? What does that mean?"

"It means there's a lot more to the story, a lot you might find hard to believe but it's something that makes everything make sense, but I don't think you should know right now. When the time is right, I'll tell you everything, I promise, but I can't...not right now."

"Okay then..." Kyungsoo's trust in Kai was slowly diminishing, but he supposed he had no other choice but to believe him and trust he would keep his promise. "Why don't we sit down for this?"

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." Kai nodded, perhaps a little to anxiously. He and Kyungsoo sat next to each on the couch. Silence enveloped them quickly. Too quickly. He looked over at the elder, who was still lost in the unexpected (but not at all unpleasant) kiss. Kai waited for him to speak first.

"U-Um, so, you kind of disappeared on me..." he started after a moment or two, hesitantly lifting his head in order to meet Kai's eyes. "Why? I-I mean, where did you go for so long?"

Kai sighed quietly. Of course he would start with the most difficult question first. "I was, uh, working."

"Working...for four weeks straight?" Kai found himself speechless for a second. He didn't know that much time had passed. He didn't know it had been that long since he last saw Kyungsoo.

"You see, that's where it gets d-difficult to explain," he said, adjusting himself so he was facing him more. "My work is time-consuming a-and it's constant. I rarely get a break, in fact, it's a miracle if I do for even a minute. It's the kind of work that doesn't leave me much time for personal endeavors. That's why I couldn't--why I was afraid to see you. The truth is, I've liked you for so long, but I didn't think it could ever work because of what I do. I don't know, I just didn't want to let you down."

"You wouldn't have let me down, Kai." Kyungsoo shook his head faintly. Kai met his eyes, but the elder looked away only moments after. "I was just worried. I thought that maybe I was coming on too strong or maybe you...changed your mind about me."

"No, of course not!" Kai exclaimed, perhaps a little too rushed and excitedly he realized not long after the words left his mouth. "I-I mean, I would never. I couldn't even if I wanted to, which I don't by the way! I like you a lot, Kyungsoo."

Kai was caressing his face now and Kyungsoo felt the warm all over. This was the first time they had been this close, this intimate, if you could even call hand-face contact intimate.

It was certainly intimate for the angel, who had never in his whole existence felt so close to someone. So, this was what humans meant when they spoke about love.

A few moments went by before either of them talked. "Are you gonna kiss me any time soon or are we just gonna stay like this until it gets weird?" whispered Kyungsoo with a faint chuckle and grin.

"I-I've never, um, kissed anyone. I mean, besides earlier, which I don't really count. I've seen people do it, though. Not in the creepy like I actively try to see people kiss, but-" Kai stopped when he heard the elder laughing. "W-What? W-Why are you laughing?"

"No reason really," he replied in between chuckles. "You just ramble when you're nervous. It's like you're trying to stall or something. It's really cute."

Kai sighed and sat back against the couch. "Soo...I'm really trying here," he whined with a pout on his lips that only made Kyungsoo want to laugh hard and kiss him even harder. "I meant what I said about liking you a lot. You don't understand yet, but I'm risking a lot by being here. I want it to be worth it."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." It was Kyungsoo's turn to caress Kai's cheek as he gently rubbed his thumb against his skin. Kai wrapped his hand around the man's wrist, closing his eyes and exhaling a shaky breath. "Hey," Kyungsoo said, his voice low yet soft. "Don't worry. It'll all work out, it will." Looking into his eyes, Kai felt more relaxed and nodded his head.

That's when Kyungsoo leaned in closer and connected their lips--when he kissed him. It was different from what he expected it to be, not in a bad way; just different. He didn't get the chance to return the kiss before he pulled away.

"Did it feel as good as it looked?" Kyungsoo asked, making Kai break out in laughter. He laughed for what felt like hours, the hardest he's ever laughed before. Kyungsoo smiled.

This was okay, for now anyway.

A/N

Another chapter done! Not in a timely manner but it's done nonetheless lol

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks so much for reading! XOXO