Abhor

Chapter 16

This chapter may contain sensitive content for some. Enjoy the update

"Hey man" John said as he walked up behind me. He patted my back as we began walking through the halls, school about to begin. I haven't talked to Emma since the shooting which was now a  whole week and a half ago. I felt utterly lost and confused without her. I haven't been able to sleep. Not to mention the nightmares haven't stopped. They've been the same or worse but always the same concept, Emma dyeing. It freaked me out. I was tiered all the time, and usually thinking about how much I wanted to be with Emma. I've stopped by her house multiple times but she never let me in. She hadn't shone up at school since. My only hope to see her would be for her to come to Isabelle's funeral which was this weekend. "What are you thinking about?" John asked bringing my attention back to the present. I scuffed my foot against the tile floor.

"Emma" I admitted. It helped a lot having John to talk to. I had always thought of him as a lacrosse friend but he has proven himself differently. He is my best friend. Well besides Emma. Since the night at the bench we have been talking a lot. About everything. Emma, Natalie and Isabelle. It feels good to get everything off my chest and have someone who can some what relate to what I'm feeling. 

"Yeah man. Its rough" John nodded. I shoved my hands in my pockets. The bell rang and the people in the halls began to shuffle into their classes. "Gotta run to English. See you at lunch?" John asked, I nodded, still not really paying attention. He waved as he walked away. I sighed, my heart still heavy. No one could replace her. Then my phone buzzed. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket. Emma's smiling face appeared on my screen. Emma was calling. I answered it quickly, pulling it up to my ear. I listened to see if it was really her.

"Dylan?" she asked, her voice slightly off. It was a mix between timidness and a hint of crying. "Dylan I need you to listen to me" she sniffed. Her voice sounded raw and sad. Confusion clouded my mind as she spoke. Something in me felt wrong.

"Okay" I said back, hesitantly. I had so much to say, so many questions but I wanted to hear what she had to say first. It sounded important.

"Dylan....I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dragging you into my shit life. ...I'm-I'm sorry for hurting you like I have done to everybody. I've hurt too many people...and lost too many people Dylan" she paused sniffling into the phone. It sounded like she was having trouble breathing. "I'm worthless and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it.....But I'm leaving. And before I go I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ruining everything" she whispered into the phone. She had taken big pauses before every sentence, like she was struggling to speak.

"Where are you going?" I asked completely dumbfounded. It was a stupid question but I felt like I had to ask. Something wasn't right. I felt sick with nausea. She breathed into the phone, like what she had to say was going to crush me. "Emma where are you going?" I asked again. She sniffled.

"I'm going away forever Dylan" she paused. "I-Its already happening" she whispered. What was she talking about? I felt panic rush through my veins. She couldn't mean...

"Emma what are you talking about?" I said, tears slipping down my face. I gripped my phone tighter, as if it would bring me closer to her.

"I'm leaving this world Dylan. This world of hate and murder. This world of abuse. Its all too much. I'm drowning Dylan" she cried into the phone. "And I'm not dragging you down with me. I-I took some pills Dyl." she said into the phone. An eerie tone of delusion in her voice. I was crying now. She was committing suicide. She was overdosing. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Emma don't! Please don't!" I yelled into the phone. She let out a loud sigh.

"I'm already gone" she whispered, her voice eerily calm. I sobbed into the phone. "Goodbye Dylan". She whispered. My hands were shaking. My head spinning.