Forbidden (Gay Story)

Chapter 12

December 21st

Justin's POV

The way Alex reacted to Jocelyn having a coma makes me feel pitiful and heartbroken. I've never seen him so miserable and inconsolable. He hasn't slept a teeny bit for two days. He doesn't want to eat anything. I fear for his health and well being sometimes.

"Baby, you have to eat. I'll bring you McDonald's." I tell Alex, sitting on the arm rest of the sofa chair in the hospital room. He has dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.

"I don't wish to eat. I'm not hungry." He says plainly.

I sigh. I know that he feels this way, but I can't help it. I know that all he wants to do is go home and do his drugs. But I don't want to let him. It saddens me that he is this way, and I am concerned for his health. I do not blame him for feeling this way, either. His pain reflects onto me and I think of Jocelyn in a coma.

I go to her bed side where she lays. Alex's gaze is on me. The sound of his tears spilling onto the floor echo in the silent room. All I want to do is turn around and wipe his tears off with my thumb, but I know now is not the right time.

Suddenly, I feel Alex's hand on my shoulder and I glance back. His eyes are filled with worry.

"Justin. What if- what if she never wakes up?" his voice cracks.

"Alex, I know she will wake up. Have faith in me." I say. (Lmao ADTR)

He never responds so I grab his bag on the chair he sleeps in to fill it with his clothes. Since Jocelyn's been in the hospital, Alex fears going into the apartment because he feels that Jocelyn will wake up without him by her side. It's really adorable, actually.

~
I walk into the parking garage and unlock the car. I throw the bag into the seat next to me and get in. Something falls out of the bag.

"Shit." I say.

I look to the ground and see that a crayon box fell out if his bag. I think, Seriously, a crayon box? and giggle to myself.

Picking up the crayon box, I notice that the box is much less heavier than an actual crayon box. Curious, I open the box.

What do I find?

Weed. Wax paper. Filters. A lighter. Everything you need to make a joint and smoke it.

But also, under it all, I find all the blades I've been using to cut myself.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I've been looking for these everywhere!" I say aloud. Someone getting out of their car gives me a 'you're fucking mental for talking to yourself' look.

I drive for miles and throw the box out the window. Including the blades. Surprisingly, tears start to sting my eyes. Did I really just do that?

I did. And that was a really big fucking move.

A few minutes later, I still can't believe that I was strong enough to throw my blades out the window. I didn't really care for Alex's weed though, he gets it for free since his mom's a drug lord anyways.

Plus, I am really pissed at him for smoking while his mother is in the hospital. If my mother was in the hospital, I would definitely not be fucking smoking.

I head back to our apartment/condo, (Alex calls it "The Queer Motherfucking Crib"). I get some sweaters that I know Alex loves because it's almost as cold in the hospital as it is outside in the snowy weather. Also, I pack some of his favorite sweats.

Before I leave back to the hospital, I stop by Wal-Mart to get some Nutella and apple juice for Alex. Every gay has to love apple juice.

~

The check out lines are longer than he stairway to hell. Most likely because some people are doing last minute Christmas shopping.

That reminds me. I haven't gotten Alex anything for Christmas. Shit shit shit I think to myself. Before I head back to the hospital I should get him something.

What has Alex been asking for ever since I've known him? He's not into sports at all, that's out. He already has his "band" instruments and equipment that he hasn't done anything with, that's out. He has a bunch of clothes, that's out. Gift cards show you don't give a shit, that's out.

Alex loves animals though. I remember him telling me when we were younger that he always wanted a puppy but he could never have one because his mom was allergic.

I know what to get him. A puppy.

Soon, I find a pet shop. I go in.

There's pets everywhere. Mostly puppies. None of them catch my attention except a little black puppy with blue eyes in the corner.

It's staring at me and whining. I want it.

~

Finally, the blue-nosed Pit Bull is in my lap in the car. I have to hide it from Alex.

Before driving back home, I go to the hospital to drop off Alex's clothes. I try to hide my excitement and it seems to work.

~

Since I bought all the supplies for the puppy at the shop, I put food and water into her bowls. She attacks her food and I watch her.

I start thinking of names but they all sound too human for a dog. I'll just have to let Alex choose it.

The rest of the day we spend laying on the couch watching Orange Is The New Black on Netflix.

(a/n: I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW FUCKING LONG I HAVEN'T BEEN ON WATTPAD OMFG. BUT HI I'M BACK SO YAY. OKAY I'LL BE UPDATING CHAPTER 13 SOOOOOOON SO BE READY)