|| 5SOS IMAGINES ||

Plaid Shirt Days || Ashton Irwin

( you can listen to All Too Well song by Taylor Swift while reading this cause there's one part the song will be play in this story )

It was raining outside. You were on your way home from your first day at a new job. You worked as a cashier at a local boutique. You knew you would have a lot if fun working there. You reached your apartment building, where you lived in an apartment with your boyfriend, Ashton. He was on tour most of the time, so you didn't see him that often, but he was in town for a few weeks so you wanted to spend as much time together as possible. You couldn't wait to just relax with him and cuddle in bed. You hadn't been able to do that in a long time. You ran up the stairs to your apartment as fast as you could. You put the key in and rushed into the bedroom where Ashton would most likely be sleeping.

You go to find Ashton sound asleep soundly on the bed. You smile as you watch his chest move up and down. Him sleeping always fascinated you. You decided to let him sleep some more, so you walk to your kitchen. The kitchen is where you do all your thinking.

You started to think about how Ashton hadn't really been himself lately. He used to be so lively and happy when he's on tour.

"Is it because he's with me and not his best friend?" You thought to yourself. No, he would never act like that because he was around you. His adorable smile, doesn't make as many appearance anymore. He isn't as affectionate with anymore. You rarely see him talk to his family or band mates since about a month ago. You've tried asking him what's wrong, but all he does is change the topic.

You were started to get stressed out over thinking too much, so you decided to take a walk. You grab your phone and walk out into the cold rain. Getting rained on was the least of your worries. You walked around the block as the rain and cold wind stung your face. You began to pick up your pace so you could get home faster. You didn't want Ashton worrying about you if he woke up and you weren't there.

You returned to the complex and jogged back up the stairs again. You had left the house key in your pocket earlier, so you took it out and open the door. You casually walked into you and Ashton's bedroom. When you open the door, you see Ashton isn't in bed.

"Ashton?" You speak softly, since the apartment echoes. Nobody answers.

"Ashton?!" You speak louder this time. Still no answer. You start to panic. His phone was on the bed side table, and if he did leave the apartment, he wouldn't have left his phone. You start looking for Ashton at the living room and kitchen. He isn't there.

"Ashton, please answer me. Where are you?! This is not a joke," you cry. Suddenly you step on something. You look down to check out what just you step on. It was a folded paper. You picked it up, thinking it was trash. As you were about to throw it away, a flash of blue ink caught your eyes. You look back to the paper.

" To: The love of my life " it read on the outside.

You open up the paper to find it's a letter, written in Ashton's handwriting. That's when your stomach dropped.

" Hi babe. I know that you are probably not very happy with me right now. It took everything in me to write this. "

"I hope you know that I love you more than I have loved anything in my life. You are my everything. I remember the day we first met was at a barbecue for our soccer team in Year 3. We never talk that much until high school. You were so beautiful, and don't get me wrong, you still are and always will be the most beautiful I've ever seen,"

"I remember when I first asked you to be my girlfriend, I had invited you to an aquarium, and I had the staff arrange it to where all the fish in one tank would spell out 'will you be my girlfriend?'. The look on your face was priceless. After that we did everything together. You supported me through my band and everything. That's happen with my career, and I can never ever repay you for that. If I didn't have you I would never have gotten this far in the music industry, and I would have never known what it feels like to truly love another. So thank you, my darling. Thank you for everything you have done for me. You have impacted my life more than words can explain,"

"Moving on to why I'm writing this letter. Well, I know that you've noticed that I haven't been very interactive with anybody lately. I have kept it a secret until now, as I'm writing this to you. 2 months ago, I was diagnosed with severe depression. I know, I know. I should have told you before, my love, but I couldn't. I know it would break your heart, and I couldn't do. The medication I've been taking for it is hidden in my suitcase, that's why you never saw it. It hasn't been working too well for me lately, so I stopped taking it.

"By the time you are reading this, darling, I am already in the clouds. I will miss you, the boys, and my family a lot. I am in tears while writing this. I wanted to say goodbye to you one last time, but I had to do this while you were gone. You would've never let me die in piece. I am doing this for me. It's my decision and I am happy with it. I am terrified at the same time though,"

"Please tell the boys I said goodbye and I love them so much. They are honestly my best friend and without them, I would've never seen anywhere but my small hometown."

"Tell my family that I love and miss them so much. I would do anything to see them again, but unfortunately, I can't.

"Darling, I want you to call 911 after you're done reading this. You can find me in the bathroom, but I don't want you coming in and seeing my body. Tell them in here and they will take me so you don't have to see me,"

"Last thing, I want you to always remember that I'm watching over you as you read this. I will be forever be your guardian angel. Whenever you're feeling down, just look up and know that I'm looking right back down on you,"

"Goodbye, my love. Sincerely from, Ashton Irwin xx"

You set the note down and began to cry your eyes out. You take your phone as fast as you could and dial 911 with your shaking hand.

"911 what is your emergency?"

*one week later*

Today was the day of Ashton's funeral. So much had happened in the past weeks, it was all blur. You had to tell the boys and Ashton's family. They were all at the funeral home with you.

As the ceremony started, you begin to look off into space. You weren't sure what would you do with your life now that all your happiness was taken from you in a matter of minutes.

Suddenly you are snapped out of your thoughts with the sound of music begin to play. You look up and see Michael, Luke and Calum in the front. They were all wearing black suits. They sang 2 of their songs "Try Hard" and "Heartbreak Girl" in honour of Ashton. The last song they sang, surprised you very much.

The piano and acoustic guitar began to play and you immediately recognised the tune. They were singing Taylor Swift's "All Too Well". You and Ashton would always go on picnic dates and sing that song at the top of your lungs. You listened as the three boys began to sing.

"I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, but something 'bout it felt like home somehow"

You hummed the tune as the boys sang the chorus and second verse. They soon came up on you and Ashton's favourite part of the song.

"Time won't fly it's like I'm paralysed by it, I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it, after a plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone,"

"But you keep my old scarf from that very first week, 'cause it reminds you of innocence, and it smells like me. You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it, All Too Well..."

As the song finish, people start to go home. You walk to Ashton's funeral and put on your scarf, which Ashton love the most when you wear it. "Rest in piece, Ashton Irwin," you whisper.