as soon as i got home, i tossed my bag across the floor, tore my tie off, and then collapsed on my bed
why do they care what i was doing???
i eventually decided to grab the pin again, adding fresh cuts to my other arm, each having reason this time
this is for giving up,
this is for being so weak,
this is for the face Kaito made,
this is for not keeping it a secret,
this is for making Fumika worry,
and this is for lying to everyone..
the final cut was slightly deeper than the others, but i didn't care, i deserve it, and it distracts me from everything else.
i stuck the pin in the wall so i wouldn't forget it, and then decided to not bandage my cuts straight away. i lay there, watching the blood dry and thinking about what i should do now. and wether or not i should tell anyone. if i told the school, the teachers would tell me to get counselling or therapy, but i barely have enough money for school, there's no way i could pay for something like that.
i rolled on to my back, and my train of thought somehow moved to Kaito, and thinking about why he looked scared when he saw the scars. he hates me, right? is he just pitying me? i don't need pity from someone who'd tell me to give up like that...
i sat up, shaking my head, trying to stop thinking of Kaito, and went to go and bandage my arms again, i collapsed and and then eventually fell asleep,
YOU ARE READING
~❀ Hanahaki disease ❀~
Romance! ! W A R N I N G ! ! contains: self-harm, attempts of suicide, hanahaki disease, LGBTQ+ and may use some harsh language.. if you're not okay with this type of thing, turn back now, don't just post hate in the comments. _________
