What I Never Knew

Chapter Seven

After drying my eyes I headed to my second period with Maxwell. It was math and we were late.
"Ms. Moonstone, Mr. Knight. Nice of you to join me. Care to solve this equation for me? If one of you get it right I will let this go." The teacher said. 'Jerk' Maxwell said through the mind link. I almost laughed out loud. 'Maxwell...' I scolded through the mind link, half laughing. 'You know it's true, also I leave this problem to you, ms. Einstein'. I look at the problem. Easy.
"X equals 354.67" I say before finding a seat.
"That's just a stupid guess, there's no way she got that, right Carmen?" Whitney said. Carmen...ah the schools top student.
"No, she's right...". Carmen said, surprised.
"Sorry, Carmen..." I say, sincerely.
"Why are you sorry?" Carmen asked.
"I was top student at my old school and just since I found my family I'm not going to slack on my grades or Alpha duties. I don't want any hard feelings...". I said. She shrugged.
"That's fine by me. It was getting boring with all these people. Plus their was never enough people to form a scholastics club or advanced classes. This is a breath of fresh air!" She said smiling at me, I laughed quietly before facing forward. BB was right about her. Classes went by quickly and soon it was lunch time. I tried avoiding Mackinley at all cost, but I knew that would be hard during lunch. The cafeteria was hectic. Just trying to find a table was hard. Once my pack found a table, I sat down and let my pack go get there food. Well except Cameron.
"Hey, Scar...". He said hesitantly. I could feel he was nervous and excited. I nodded my head for him to continue.
"I found my mate...it's Carmen Vandor...". He said fondly. I smile at him, excited.
"Congratulations! I'm happy for you..." I said, it was true.
"I'm sorry...I was going to comfort you earlier, but Maxwell had experience in that area. He could've helped you more." He said.
"I know Cam, I know." Soon everyone, including Carmen was at the table. I kept getting lost in thought, making sure to block my mind from my pack, especially Cam. There had to be a way...a way to where my mate won't know who I am, so he doesn't get hurt. I can tell he loves Whitney. I don't want to ruin him like that. I don't agree with what he is doing, but the best way I can love him is letting him go. 'I agree...I hate it, but I agree.' Halo said to me. 'Halo, the Flower. The Starlight Diamond Lily. One of it's purposes is to protect. Can I do something with my abilities to protect my mate from the mate bond?' It was quiet for a few minutes. 'Yes, there is, but Scarlet?' 'Yes, Halo?' 'There is a chance you may never experience the mate bond, like ever. If you protect him from the bond between you two, then would have to break the bond so he can be with Whitney without causing pain to you. Unless you want to suffer, feeling everything...' 'If I break it, his wolf will go through mourning and not accept Whitney's wolf.' 'I'm sorry....' 'Why are you sorry, Halo?' 'If I would have come out sooner, he probably would be with you....' 'Halo! If he can't accept my human side, then he's not fully accepting me. You come out when the time is right.' 'You are too caring for your own good, Scarlet.' 'I know'.
" Scarlet!" I hear someone yell. I look up to see my whole table, including my brother, Mackinley, and Whitney. They must have joined when I was talking to Halo.
"Sorry, I was talking to Halo..." Maxwell just patted my back.
"Is it about your mate?" Whitney asked. How does she know?
"Oh, sorry about earlier. I was just scared y'all were a pack of rogues that were planning and inside attack. It's been done here before and twenty people were injured and some were killed...Plus, I do need to keep my manners in check..." She said, surprising me.
" It's all right...I would be protective too. And to answer your question, yes it was about my mate." I said.
"That's great, does he know yet?" She said excitedly. I shook my head no and she frowned.
"Aren't you seventeen? Shouldn't he know?" She asked confused.
"No, I don't turn seventeen until this weekend. And no he doesn't."
"Then how do you know?"
"My wolf told me."
"Why?"
"Because he is with someone else..." she frowned.
"I'm sorry, but what if he ends up choosing you over her?" She said positively. Man, she is actually a sweetheart. I smile sadly, trying not to cry.
"He won't. I can tell how much he cares and loves her. I won't ruin that."
"Lettie, what if he does though?" Brayden asks.
"He won't find out we are mates." I said making everyone look at me in shock.
"He will find out once you break the bond." Rosabella said.
"I won't break the bond, if I do then his wolf will go in mourning and won't accept the wolf of the one he loves."
"How will you hide...no. No Scar, you can't!" Cam said.
"Can't what?" Mackinley asks. Max looks at Cam before his eyes get wide. He turns to me and places his hand on my shoulders.
"No, you are not doing that. You will feel everything. Him marking and completing the process, everything. Then you also have to see him. I'm asking you as a friend not to do this." He tells me seriously.
"Will someone tell me what's going on?" My brother asks.
"You would do that for your mate, who is choosing someone else to be with?" Whitney asks me.
"Sometimes the best way to show your love is by letting them go." I say.
"But y'all are made for each other! The moon spirit chose mates to fit the other perfectly, to balance things out! No offense future Alpha and you too Whitney." Carmen said.
"She knows. She knows better than anyone. You should have heard her at the acceptance ceremony and how she was with my little sister. Almost like a mother figure...oh no...Alpha..." She looks at me horror stricken. Tears are falling freely now and I'm glad I'm facing the corner instead of the rest of the cafeteria.
"I know, Rosabella. I know."
"Why are you crying? What does being a mother figure have to do with this?" Mackinley asks. His concerned tone stabbed through my heart.
"She can't have kids...if she never breaks the bond." Brayden said.
"But if you break it-"
"He won't be happy." I finish. I gave my brother a look. I wipe my face.
"Anyways...I'm just glad I have a new pack mate joining here soon." I say, giving Carmen a small smile. She smiled sadly at me.
"I will have the acceptance ceremony on Friday." I say. They nod there heads. Cam pulls her close and pecks her temple, making her blush. I smile sadly at them. I know I won't have that. Even if I did, I could never accept another wolf because my wolf knows her mate. 'Sorry, Scarlet...' 'Stop apologizing, Halo.'
"Well...how will you hide the bond?" Whitney asks.
"It's a special pack thing, I'm sorry. Plus I'm the only one who can do it." I say.
"Snow...when are you going to do this? It will take a lot of energy."
"The day before my birthday."
"But what about your birthday?! You won't be able to celebrate it...". BB said.
"That's the point Brayden. Your sister doesn't want to celebrate. The one special thing that was suppose to happen will not happen, so why should she?" Cam said truly. Brayden clenched his jaw.
"This isn't fair! I was suppose to be there when you happily told me that you found your mate, question him, threaten him, become friends with him...all to protect you. Now I can't. Why you, Scarlet? Haven't you been through enough? Getting kidnapped when we were kids, finding out the hard way what you are after getting kidnapped again, beaten almost to death and almost raped, seeing Cameron almost killed, and now this?!" He said.
"How do you know about the almost being raped...? I haven't told anyone besides Cam...". I asks slowly.
"I did some investigating after you told us." He said curtly.
"You've been through all that? And you still haven't shifted?" Whitney said, tears in her eyes. I nodded.
"It's okay. This is just one more thing that can make me stronger...it's just...going to-" I start.
"It can kill you, Snow. Rejection can kill, but what you're going to do is much worse than a rejection." Max said angrily.
"Why don't you just go to a crowded location on your birthday, meet his eyes and walk away? Give him the chance to reject you." Rosabella says.
"What if he doesn't? He'll be in pain for leaving the one he loves, and she will be heart broken. I don't know if she has a mate or something happened to him, but if something did and he's not around...I would want her to find happiness again. Losing the one she loves again will hurt a lot." I say, remembering a girl I knew back in New York. She almost didn't make it out of that.
"You would do that for the girl your mate loves?" Whitney says looking at the table.
"Yes, if he's happy, then yes." I say.
"What about your happiness? Finding your mate is the best thing to ever happen to you!" She said, looking me in the eyes. I could see her pain.
"You lost your mate, didn't you?" She nodded her head.
"Surprise rogue attack at the school...". She said. That explains her behavior.
"Then why are you with Mackinley, knowing he has a mate somewhere?" Brayden asks her. She shifts in her seat.
"I love him...this may sound bad, but his mate has never showed up and it's hurt him a lot..." she whispers the last part but I heard her. She really cares for him.
"What if she showed up after y'all claimed each other? What then?" Cam asks. 'Cam, don't! Stand down!' Cam looks over at me sharply. 'Scar, you can't live like this!' I knew the others could see we were mind linking in our own link. 'What if I was meant to?'
"What do you mean?" He accidentally said out loud. Everyone looked to me.
'Think about it Cam, in the myths, what happens to the holder of the Starlight Diamond Lily?' 'They win a vast war and...' Cams eyes get huge and he shakes his head.
"No, Scar, that is not going to happen. I won't let it and nor would the pack!" He said out loud, again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"What happens, happens. What is meant to be, will be. I will follow the path that was created for me." I say, quoting the same thing I did when I officially accepted the role of being the holder. Everyone in my pack besides the new ones, know what this means. They all lower their heads in acceptance.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Brayden asks.
"All the packs here should know, Alpha. In case something does happen." Cameron said in his Beta voice. I nodded my head and looked to Brayden and Mackinley.
"We need to hold a pack meeting for all the packs. I would like it to be on the day of the acceptance ceremony." I said.
"But then they will know..." Brayden started then, realized.
"You need them to know about that then..." I nod my head. The bell then rings.
"I'll appreciate it if you would bring this news to your current Alphas. I will have my Beta send you the information about the ceremony. Have a good day." And with that, I walk to class.
The rest of the day passes by quickly, and soon it is time to go home. After everyone arrives and homework is done, we go to different stores to get our furniture and appliances, borrowing my dads truck and trailer. Once everything is in its place at the house, I head to the office to do research. My birthday is this Saturday. So I need to start the bond protecting ceremony Friday night, when the full moon is high. My mate also needs to be present. So maybe I can do the acceptance ceremony that evening. All the packs will be there, so there are enough witnesses. I just got to hope it doesn't get too late. I was born at 12:12 a.m. and high moon is at 12:01 a.m. I would have to be precise and quick. The whole ceremony takes ten minutes, so being delayed even one minute can risk my mate finding out who I am. I can't have that.
"Alpha?" I hear a small voice say outside my office door. I smile to myself.
"Come in, sweetie." I say and Abigail comes in. She walks up to my desk and sits in the chair across it, or well, tries to. She's so small...I smile to myself and go around to her. I pick her up and sit in my chair with her in my lap.
"What's on your mind, little one?" I ask her.
"Do you-do you t-think, mommy and daddy miss me? D-do they still l-love me, e-even though -th-they are gone?" She asks me sniffling. I turn her to face me in my lap. Wiping her face with one hand and hold onto her so she doesn't fall.
"Yes, sweetie, I'm sure they miss you! Who wouldn't miss such a sweet, strong, and brave girl like you? And Abigail, they will always love you, no matter where they are, cause they are right here..." I say poking her little heart.
"They will always be there with you, even though you can't see them..." I say giving her a soft smile. She engulfs me in a hug, surprising me. I wrap my arms around her and rub her back.
"Alpha?" She says with her head buried in my neck.
"Yes, little one?" I asks softly.
"You will make a great mommy..." she says innocently. Tears run down my face silently.
"Thank you, Abi...". I say and she looks at me.
"Alpha, you're crying! Did I make you sad, I'm sorry!" She says, starting to panic. I shush her gently and smile.
"No, sweetie, you didn't make me sad. These are happy tears." I say, smiling to reassure her. She gives me a heart warming smile in return.
"I should get back to my room. Rose is probably wondering where I am." She says before carefully climbing down and running out the partially open door. A few minutes later, Cam and Max came in and shut the door, making it soundproof.
"You heard." I stated. They nodded their heads.
"Scar, you can't do this!" Cam exclaims.
"I have to do this."
"No,snow, you don't!" Max says.
"It would be safer for him. If the seekers found out I had a mate, they would use him as leverage. If he doesn't know I'm his mate, he is safe. Plus he will never know if I'm hurt or..." I start off.
"Killed. You know the holder is usually killed, but their mates either rejected them or were never found in their life. You know your mate, it's different. What if you were with him. What if that is the difference?!?" Max asks me.
"Max..." I say, trying to find something to comfort him.
"What if he doesn't reject you?" Cam asks. I shake my head.
"He will." I state.
"Snow, the bond is stronger than any love for another. You know this." Max says.
"Yes, but people have fought it before and he has alpha blood flowing through him."
"When..." Max asks.
"Friday. For both ceremonies." I say.
"I'll notify the other packs." Cam says before marching out. That's when I broke down again.
"Snow...". Max said as he came around the desk and picked me up, sitting down and placing me on his lap like a child.
"It doesn't matter...I can't...be...with him...either way". I said between sobs. Max rubs my back.
"Shh...everything will work out." He said gently. That was the last thing I heard before I drifted of to sleep. When I woke up, I was in my room and it was morning. I went to the bathroom and scowled at my red, puffy eyes and Medusa like hair. I jumped in the shower, letting the warm water run over me. After I was finished cleaning myself, I dried off and went to my closet. I chose some yoga pants, a sports bra, underwear, a tank top, and a hoodie. After putting on my running shoes, I left a note to the pack that I would be running to school. I grabbed my book bag and went out the door. It took thirty-four minutes running to the school the long way. Once I got there, I knew that there were only a few minutes until the bell. I went straight to my locker, where my pack, Mackinley, Whitney, and my brother were waiting.
"Lettie, did you run here?" I nod my head.
"Did you eat?" Cam asked.
"Wasn't that hungry."
"Snow..." Max walked up to me and titled my head up.
"Yes, Max?" I said tiredly.
"You need to eat something, especially if you ran here." He said.
"I have gone longer without food, Max. One breakfast isn't going to kill me. There are other things that will do the job." I stated, forgetting the others that were there.
"What other things, Scarlet?" Mackinley asks.
"You'll find out Friday." I said before grabbing what I needed from my locker and heading to class. The rest of the day passed in a blur. Finally it was my last class: history.
"Okay class, today we will be starting a project that is due Friday. And before any of you ask, I'm choosing the partners." Mrs. Notts said. Most of the class groaned. She was going through the list and then I heard my name.
"Scarlet Moonstone and Mackinley Winters." I popped my head up and looked around the classroom, finding him in the back looking at me. I put my head on the desk. Why me? I don't want to get closer. Closer means temptation. Once the bell rings, I grab my stuff and put what I don't need in my locker. I'm fixing to go out the side entrance near the woods, when a hand grabs my arm. Out of reflex, I grab it and twist it around, only to see Mackinley wincing. I quickly let him go.
"Sorry..." I whisper. He rubs the back of his neck.
"It's okay, I shouldn't have grabbed you like that out if no where. Sorry." He said.
"So what did you need?" I asked him.
"Project, remember?" He asked.
"Oh, right...". I said, almost forgetting about it.
"So how about you come to my house, cause I'm sure yours is still in the middle of organizing." He said. I nodded my head and followed him to his car. It took about ten minutes to get to his pack. Once we entered his house, a women who looked like a female version of Mackinley engulfed me in a hug.
"Scarlet, honey! I haven't seen you in ages. My how you've grown into a beautiful women..." she said stepping back, but still holding my shoulders.
"Thank you, Luna Winters." I said. She shook her head.
"I'll have none of that, dear. Call me Carolyn. I heard you were an Alpha now. Good job! You could teach Mackinley a few things. I'm also sorry to hear about your mate...". She said giving me a concerned smile.
"Love, I don't think you should bring that up. But, Scarlet, if he's in my pack I can command him to come foreword on your birthday." Alpha Winters said in a fatherly tone.
"That's not necessary, Alpha Winters. I will be hiding the bond the day before. I'm sure your son told you about both ceremonies?" I said. They both nodded.
"Well, I'll be baking cookies. Care to have some Scarlet?" I lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Still love food, I see..." Alpha Winters said with a chuckle, making me blush.
"Guilty...". I said with a sheepish smile. I then followed Mackinley into his room upstairs, leaving the door open. He had dark blue walls, with black carpet, black bed, and a dark blue comforter. There were pictures of him, family, friends, and of him and Whitney...I gave a sad smile when I seen it. Then I just looked at him as he got the supplies and what not out.
"So, you like food?" Mackinley asked, glancing at me. I nod my head.
"But you didn't eat breakfast or lunch." He stated. I nodded my head, looking at the ground.
"Why?" He asked after sitting down on his desk chair, looking at his computer. I sat down on the floor and got my notes out of my bag before answering.
"It...I just can't...this morning I was such a mess, I just wanted to clear my mind. I didn't even think about eating...and lunch...Well it's hard trying to eat when you see your mate with someone else." I sad sadly, as I looked over the guidelines of the project. We had to do a presentation about George Washington, before he became president.
"Are you going to give him a chance to know you are here?" He asked, still looking at the computer, but now he was taking notes in his notebook. I highlighted information I thought was important for our project.
"If your mate was here, would you want her to show herself to you now?" I asked him. I don't know why I did, but it fit what he was asking me. He stopped what he was doing and glanced at me, before looking at the picture of him and Whitney.
"I don't know..." he finally said. We continued in silence for a while until he shut off his computer and sat across from me in the floor.
"I have waited for almost a year and she has yet to show up. I used to dream about having a mate by my side, finding her, getting old with her...but she never showed...". He sad sadly.
"And Whitney was there for you...". I said softly, cutting out the letters for the heading before gluing them.
"Yeah, She was my best friend. I was happy when she found her mate, but when he died...she was an empty shell. We slowly became closer over time and here we are. I don't know what I. Would do without her." He said. I nodded, trying not to cry. That's when my phone rang. I used my elbow to answer on speaker, since I had glue on my hands.
"Alpha of Starlight pack, how may I help you?" I asked in my Alpha tone. I heard giggling and a soft smile popped on my face.
"Alpha! Guess what, guess what?!" She said excitedly.
"What is it, little one?" I asked softly.
"I lost a tooth!" She exclaimed happily. I softly chuckled.
"That's great, sweetie! Now the tooth fairy can come and take your tooth to build a castle!" I said in an excited voice.
"Really! Will I get a little gift in return?" She asked, curiously. I laughed.
"Yes, little one. You will get a gift. Now, how did you get my number?" I asked.
"Maxie gave it to me when I couldn't find you..." I laughed at her nickname and so did Mackinley. I forgot he was here.
"Oh, I see...and is Maxie with you right now?" I asked her, using the nickname.
"Yes, snow, I'm here...please don't call me that again, please." He begged.
"I don't know Maxie, I kind of like this nickname. Abi, sweetie, you did a good job!" I told her. She giggled.
"Thank you Alpha! Love you! Bye!"
"Love you too, little one. See you tonight." I say softly before hanging up.
"You're great with kids, Scarlet dear." I hear Mrs. Winter say from the doorway. I gave her a sad smile.
"Thank you, Mrs. Winters..." I say softly. She gives me a small smile in return.
"Here are some cookies and milk." She says putting a tray down between Mackinley and I.
"Thank you." Mackinley and I say at the same time. His mom gave us a small smile before leaving the doorway. We worked a few more hours, before we called it a night. We got a lot done.
"Well, I should go. I got some Alpha duties to do before bed." I said, packing my stuff back into my bag.
"Hey, Scarlet?" Mackinley said quietly. I looked at him after zipping my bag.
"For what it's worth, I think you'd make a great mate and mother." Mackinley says even quieter. I look at the ground and nod my thanks, not trusting my voice. I go to step out of his room when his voice stops me.
"Scarlet? Is your mate in my pack?" He asks me. I just smile at him sadly, and leave. Once I reach the pack house, I go to my office and finish my Alpha duties. Then I head to my room and changed into my pajamas. I was lying down and trying to sleep, but his words kept popping in my head. Finally, I drifted off to sleep with his voice running through my mind and tears silently falling down my cheeks.
"For what it's worth, I think you'd make a great mate and mother."