Dear souls,

Chapter 16

AMPHITRITE

I am feeling emptier. It is an odd sensation, really. As if someone stabbed my soul ant took a piece of it. I try to maintain the smile on my face, I try to cover up the lonely feeling in my veins, I am not sure whether I am doing a good job or not. Yet, I feel surprisingly stronger, maybe it is because I have suffered, here, in a world where that is not entirely possible, I feel wiser.

I got back to my seat after a staring contest with Thanatos, I can not believe he only died once. He has a lonely aura, so I figured he had already suffered multiple times. Since I feel stronger and I have only died twice, he appears to hold ten times more power than me, it does not seem very logic that he is still in his second life.

"It does not make any sense, Oizys told me we could not die. Why would she lie to me?" I knew she was messed up in her head but I never took her as a liar

"We can only die in one way: the same as we did the first time. So you could say we are partly immortal" his words are cold, he has been like that ever since I woke

I want to doubt this reality, that we can die, but I can not. It somehow makes sense, it just feels like the truth. Once he told me about it, it felt as if he had just told me a forgotten memory, as if I already knew it but I had shoved that information to the back of my mind.

I should be mad at him for almost killing me a few mortal days ago, and for not coming back since. But when I opened my eyes and saw him holding me, I could not feel anything but safety. Despite his coldness and terrifying power, when he looks at me with those eyes, when he laughs or when he says my name a certain warmth flows through my whole being, all my madness fades and I am in complete awe of him.

"What is my destiny?" I think out loud. I look at him "what is yours?''

He pulls his shoulders up "I do not know, it is a mystery I believe"

"but how are we supposed to fulfil them if we do not even know what they are? It does not make any sense." I throw my long hairs behind my shoulder "actually, it brings some sort of excitement to life and death" I smile at the thought of having to figure out what I need to do

"What do you mean?" I meet his eyes, he is frowning

"I mean, we can do whatever we want and use our destiny as the excuse" he agrees admitting he never thought of it that way

"That is possible, but I believe that this world would become even more of a mess if every soul did that"

My mind is still a mess, but hearing him grin with me calms me. It gives us both a break to eat without creating another question in our minds. The food he made is simple, an omelette with orange juice. But it is delicious, and it was surprising, not only because we have never eaten breakfast before but also because he offered to do it himself.

I feel his stare on me, from across the long table. I smile at him, but he does not retribute it. That is when I notice he is not looking at me, but just in my direction, he has zooned out. I wonder what he is thinking about.

I find myself zoning out too as the thought of being in danger here too grips me. I am not capable of doing whatever I please in this world, I am blessed or cursed with these seven lives, so my earlier statement was incorrect. I am going to disappear at a point. I already know what the cause of it will be, that gives me the power of controlling the time that that happens.

Underneath the table my nails are craving the inner part of my hands, and my teeth are almost cutting my lower lip. I need a distraction, I believe he needs one too.

"Thanatos, hello?" I attempt to catch his attention "Thanatos" I repeat, this time louder

He eyes me, still a little dreamy, so I try to start a conversation "So... what will you be doing today? Are you going to work, or will you remain in the house?"