What We Keep Hidden (Jai Brooks- Ariana Grande)

Jai and Brandon

The summer of 2006... Ariana and Jai spent nearly every waking moment together, but since they had been playing together since they were small children, no one took any notice. Their experimental kissing at the beginning of the summer had quickly escalated from gentle touching to sexual fondling in a matter of weeks. At the 4th of July celebration, while their families were watching the neighborhood fireworks, Jai and Ariana were discovering fireworks of their own. That was the first time they performed oral sex on each other.

By the beginning of the last month of summer vacation, they thought they were ready for full blown sexual intercourse.

They met like they did every morning at Jai's house. His mom and dad were at work and his older brother Beau was out with friends so they were all alone as usual. Where as their previous fumblings had taken place in the tree house, Jai thought that was tacky for their 'first time', so they went to his room. He'd actually gone to the trouble of cleaning it that morning - well, he stuffed all his dirty clothes in the closet, at least. After a few tentative kisses, they slowly undressed each other and Jai guided her back to lie on the bed.

She was so scared, she couldn't look at him. "W-what about protection?"

"Condoms?" She nodded. "I-I don't have any, but don't worry. I'll ... uh ... pull out before ... you know..." She nodded again.

"'Kay." It was barely above a whisper.

He kissed her again and settled on top; her legs parted automatically when his weight pressed down on her.

Jai shifted a little in preparation.

Ariana was visibly shaking and had her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"Ari...", he whispered into her neck. "You're shaking. We don't have to..."

"No", she cut him off. "I-I want to... I really do." She opened her eyes to look at him and nodded encouragingly.

They took the final step.

"Wow...", Jai exhaled as he flopped down on the small twin bed beside her. He glanced over and noticed she hadn't moved. "It ... uh ... was over pretty fast. Sorry... you didn't ... uh ... finish."

"It's okay", she said quickly. Ariana was staring up at the ceiling, marveling at the constellations so meticulously painted there. Someone, probably Mrs. Brooks, had spent a lot time getting them just right.

"Hey, I didn't hurt you, did I?" Jai propped himself up on one elbow to study her face.

"No." She was quick to assure him. "It was ... different ... is all, but it didn't hurt."

He looked down at her stomach and chest and crinkled his nose. "Umm... sorry about the ... mess." Grabbing a handful of tissues from the box on his nightstand, he started wiping up the pungent, milky substance. Jai looked up when he noticed that she had moved her hand up to her face. She was wiping away a tear and he swallowed hard at the sight.

"Oh, Ari... I'm so sorry. I did hurt you, didn't I?"

To his surprise, she started laughing.

This was just what she needed to break the awkwardness of the situation.

"No, silly. That wasn't a tear. You've ... uh ... got quite a range."

"Ohhhh! God, that's really gross."

"Yeah, it is. I think there's some in my hair too."

"What are you doing here?"

Ariana demanded as she stood up and faced the man in front of her. She desperately tried so hard to get rid of that damned memory of their first time together and of course once he was back in her life they came crashing back. She was also trying in vain to shield her son from seeing Jai.

Jai hesitated and shifted from one foot to the other, looking at her. "Well.. uh, you said you couldn't come to my place so I thought I'd come and study with you here."

Ariana could actually feel the anger bubbling up inside her. She took a deep breath, counted to ten, walked towards him, grabbed his arm and dragged him inside the house and into the dining room where he couldn't see Brandon. "I also said I didn't want you coming over here!" She hissed in anger. What she couldn't believe, was how her mother let him in?

Jai frowned and rubbed his arm, where she left a now forming bruise. He forgot she had a death grip. "Geez, calm down. I also came because I wanted to.. uh.. see him."

Ariana's eyes became as big as the day he kissed her and he couldn't help but smile at the memory. But that was short lived when she slapped him. "Ow! What the hell?" He cried, holding his stinging cheek.

"You wanted to see him? After three years of wanting nothing to do with him?" She spat in anger. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Jai sighed and rubbed the red spot on his cheek. "That was my dad. And now he's out of our lives. But I don't want to be out of my sons life. I know how it feels to be abandoned. I don't want him growing up with that feeling."

Ariana laughed bitterly at him. "Oh, right. Like you didn't abandon me in my time of need." A silence fell upon them and she sighed, thinking. Brandon always did ask about his father. But she had to discuss it with her mother and Frankie first.

"Alright listen. You can stay and we can study. But I don't want you to see him.. Not yet." She said the last part quietly but he heard her and his eyes lit up. "I'll be right back. Sit and get your things ready." Ariana walked out of the room to go tell her mom to watch Brandon while she helped Jai and to get her own books.

As soon as she slipped out, Jai grinned to himself as he sat at the dining table and pulled his books out. He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it from his pocket, seeing a text from Ivy.

Deciding to ignore it, he turned his phone off and dropped it into his back pack just as he heard the door open. "Hey so I think I'm getting better at this. Go ahead, quiz me." He turned around and instead of seeing Ariana putting her things on the table, he saw a little boy in pajamas staring up at him. He blinked at the kid and the kid smiled at him.

"Hi!" Brandon quipped, waving excitedly. "Did you see my mommy?" he asked, getting on his hands and knees to look under the table, thinking she's was hiding underneath.

Jai slowly smiled as he watched him. "Uh, yeah. She went to go get something." He watched as the three year old got to his feet to look at him suspiciously. "I'm her friend. My name is Jai." He held his hand out for him to shake.

Brandon looked at the hand twice the size of his and smiled, slapping his hand into what he didn't know what his fathers and shook it eagerly. "Hiya Jai. I'm Brandon."

"Brandon!"

Hearing his name, his eyes lit up. "Mommy!" He screamed, turning to the door where Ariana appeared looking panicked and a little angry. But he didn't notice. "I made a new friend!" He said excitedly.

Ariana stared at Jai in anger, thinking he lured her son into the dining room. "Really?" She asked sweetly, placing her history books on the table. "That's great baby. Why don't you go play in your room?" She asked, kneeling down to his height with a loving look and taking him in her arms as she stood.

Brandon pouted as he wrapped his arms around her neck, letting out a whine. "Noooo. I wanna stay with you mommy. I don't feel gooood." He lied, burying his face into her neck.

Ariana sighed. She knew he was lying because when he lied he stretched his words and never looked her in the eye. But the way he was hugging her and whimpering made her give in. She kissed his forehead lightly. "Alright baby. You can stay. But quietly, yeah?" she felt him nod into her neck and sat down across from Jai, who was smiling at how good of a mother she was. She kept her baby boy in her lap and started the lesson.

xxxxxxx

I just love writing Ariana as a mom😍❤️