Rise Up (Jonathan Toews)

1| Rising Every Time We Fall

Jonathan

Our greatest glory is not in never falling

But in rising every time we fall.

Sometimes when we get knocked down it's hard to keep going. It's hard to get up again knowing what is going to happen next. Sometimes the fall itself isn't that bad, it's having to get back up even after everything you've been through. That's the hard part. Even though you're tired and do not wish to go on you still get up because you are strong enough to. Life was never meant to be easy, but it shouldn't be this hard either. I have it good compared to most and I still struggle from time to time. I won't always win and sometimes the losses weigh heavy in your heart. But I'm not defined by my falls but rather what happens after I fall. How I react to certain situations and what I'm able to do after the fact.

I've come across some hard times lately, my girlfriend kicked me out of her life and there's a lockout in the NHL now. I've succumbed to drinking the pain away and shutting everyone out. I've never been so alone in my life with all my friends still at home waiting for the lockout to end and my family doesn't even know what's going on with me. Haven't talked to them in months. The typical professional sports person break down that every athlete experiences. I'm not special, I know life is going to swing harder at me considering I make millions of dollars doing what I love. But I never expected it to hurt this bad or for me to hit the ground and have so far up to go in order to get back. There's no telling how long it's going to take me to get up from this one. I'm pretty sure this is rock bottom and I'm not sure I want to get better at this point. It's so exhausting to keep trying and keep failing. I can get up again but for what? For me? For hockey? For my family? I don't have much love for any of those right now, so what's the point in trying? But it's not like I have much of a choice.

I sit in my car outside my ex-girlfriends place this late September day and tap the steering wheel. She won't answer my calls or texts and I was getting tired of trying to make this work with us. I know I have my issues but instead of trying to help me move past them she uses them as a excuse as to why we won't work. I know we could if she would try, put in just a little bit of effort into this relationship. Being with me isn't easy but I thought she was different. I thought she would want me even after she's seen my flaws. Maybe I was wrong?

After waiting a while I pull off and head home. I had a lot on my mind and I needed to get it off my chest, which probably means I'm gonna drink until I blackout. So I drive home with a hand on the steering wheel and the other on my head. I kinda space out for a while until I get to a red light. I wait for it to turn green but I notice a black car coming up behind me not slowing down. In fact they speed up and change lanes before zooming past me. They were going so fast that they nearly tip my whole care over on its side. I watch in disbelief as they had to be going 80 through a red light in a busy intersection.

Next thing I know the car crashes into another car who was turning sending the car flipping across the street. I sit in shock as I watch the red car come to a stop in the ditch on the side of the road. Without hesitation I jump out of my car and run across the street. The black car pulls back before taking off and down the street as I run over to the red car. I wanted to get his plates so bad but something tells me that's not what I should be worried about. I wasn't sure how I could help whoever is in this car but after being hit like that I know the person was going to need all the help they can get.

As soon as I get to the car I look inside. I just see one girl in there tied up in her seatbelt unconscious. What's left of the mashed up car say on its side and she was pinned to the ground. Nothing but her hair moving from her car flipping so many times. I take one look at the drivers side of the car and know there's no way shes getting out that way, it took most the impact so it won't work. The front window was smashed too so I go in the passengers side and try to reach her from there. I check for a pulse and she didn't have one from what I can tell. I hear sirens off in the distance and thank god I do. More people come over to help me get her out and try to get her to come back. But from what I could tell she was as good as gone.

I finally get her buckle undone and carefully pull her out from the back. I lay her on the grass and just shake my head, it's not looking good. Not at all. Her body was definitely mangled and she was losing a lot of blood. I take my jacket off to cover her up so she isn't so exposed to all the things around here and she won't get a infection or someone take some nasty photos of her.

The ambulance arrives pretty quickly and I call them over. I explain to them the other person involved in the crash drove away and that she was the only one in her car. They ask me to come to the hospital with the girl to help the doctors figure things out and I easily agree. I hop in the ambulance and we make it to the hospital in record time. They lost her a few times but she fought back each time they lost her. They send her back to get fixed up and I stay in the waiting room pacing the floor. We look up her records and find some family to call. Once that was done it was just the waiting game.

I walk the floor back and fourth trying to process what just happened. That guy just slammed her then drove away without a care. That poor girl did nothing wrong and she's here fighting for her life. It's just awful, so awful. I've never seen someone die and I just watched it happen multiple times. I was all types of messed up and I don't even know where my car is or why I'm so scared. I just know that I wanted this to be over.

Eventually the doctor comes back and gives me a update since her family isn't here yet. He tells me that she's alive but she's having some problems. Her spine was broken so she won't be able to walk for a while, if ever again, and she had some broken bones and internal bleeding. But they were expecting her to pull through, it was just going to take a while before she gets out of here. They offer for me to go see her but I'm not sure I could. She looked so bad before and I don't think my heart could handle seeing her now.

So I wait for her family to arrive and I confide myself to the corner of the waiting room. Eventually a older couple with a young boy and young girl come up to the counter. They say they got a call about their daughter being in a accident and wonder where to find her. So I get up and introduce myself. I meet the girls mother Jean and her dad Thomas and her brother and sister Tyler and Ray. I take them to the room where the girl was but I stop outside if it.

"I would be careful going in there right now, it's bad" I warn. Having her parents see her like that is going to be hard.

"Oh, but you don't know our little Ariana. She's a fighter, always has been, always will be. There's never been a time where she doesn't come out on top and I don't think this is any different. She'll pull through" Jean insists.

"I still can't believe this happened. I mean, that guy was going to fast and he didn't slow down until he hit her car. I don't know how she's alive" I admit.

"Well, it ain't about how many times you get knocked down. It's about how many times you get back up" Thomas says.

"She's a little more than knocked down right now" I insist.

"It doesn't really matter to her. She's going to get better. I promise you she will" Jean insists.

"I sure hope you're right, I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't" I admit.

"Did you know Ari" she wonders.

"No. But I still feel bad and I just want her to get better" I claim.

"She will. I know she will" Thomas promises.

Man, I sure hope he's right.