Smoke Rising: Book III

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three

Blue is sitting on the hood of the car when I get back, and as soon as she sees me her eyes grow with concern. "What the hell happened to your clothes?"

"I burned them," I say, not meeting her gaze as I get into the car.

She gets in the driver's seat, and yanks off her jacket, handing it to me. "Here, it's freezing."

I take it without protest, slipping my soot-covered skin through the long blue sleeves of her thick winter coat.

"How did you even use your magic; this place is completely drenched in binding potions."

The flap above my head pulls down, and I find a mirror inside. "Must be a royal thing. You got any towels in here?"

She sighs impatiently and opens the latch by knees. A box drops down and she points to a brown towel. "It's not very clean but it's cleaner than you."

"Thanks." I grab the towel and she hands me a canister of water. As she begins to drive, I pour the water on the towel and begin cleaning the dirt from my face.

We get to the main road before she speaks again.

"When I was nine, both my parents died. I didn't know it at the time, but they had been accused of attacking an officer and were shot in sight. After that, it was just me and my three little brothers. I tried to earn money for food, tried trading whatever I could find for even the smallest rations. But even then, we didn't have enough to survive. The youngest one, Blake, he didn't make it the first winter."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Emery, you need to understand. I was dealt a shit hand in a shit world. So were you, So was Jackson, so was everyone? When I was eleven, I started working for a woman who taught me how to repair old tech. When she died, I took over her business, recruited some tough guys, ex-soldiers, men like that, and I created a damn underground black market.

"Jackson was groomed to be the toughest, baddest, most lethal soldier from the day he could hold a gun. From there he rose up the ranks faster than anyone ever had before. Then when he met you, he changed. It's like he finally woke up and started living his life.

"And you... well, I don't know your whole story. But I know whatever you've been through, whatever shit hand you were dealt, you're here now, getting ready to start a revolution. You just lost a lot of people, and I understand how that feels, trust me. But if I'm doing this with you, and let's be honest, you need me and my men to get this up and running, I need to be sure you can handle it."

"I can handle it."

Blue slams on the breaks, and parks the car in the middle of the interstate.

"What did I say that pushed you over the edge back there?"

"What?" I make a face, turning towards her.

"Back at the warehouse, I said or did something that made you snap. What was it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that bullshit. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything."

"Emery, tell me." She's practically screaming at me, and my mind is racing and my heart is beating so fast. And all I can think about is Mateo's smile. Mateo's laugh. Mateo disappearing in a blinding white light.

"You called me princess." I yell, giving her a blazing gaze. "Mateo—my friend, who was killed. He used to call me princess. It bug the shit out of me and he knew it but when you said that it was like watching him die all over again."

Blue exhales leans back in her seat, and then nods.

"Okay." She looks out the windshield. "You can't let small shit like that bother you. Not right now. You're one push away from losing your shit and you can't do that right now."

"I know."

"I'm putting everything I've ever worked for on the line for you. So I need to know, can I trust you?"

I hesitate. This isn't a question I want to take lightly. She's right, I do need her. I need her men, and her weapons, and her connections. But I could probably do it without her. It would take longer, and more people would probably die. It would be risky, without Bug and her knowledge, and I'm sure if Blue goes, Bug goes with her.

"You gotta keep it together. Turn that shit off. It sucks, and it's unfair, and hard as hell; but warriors don't mourn the dead into the battle is over. Our battle is just beginning."

"You can trust me." I nod, and then I stare into her gaze, serious and calm.

"You sure about that?"

"I get it, you think I'm going to explode and take this whole operation down with me. But you're wrong. I needed a day—not even a day—a few hours alone to get myself together. I had that, now I'm ready. Now you're going to drive this car back to that shitty town and we're going to take all those weapons and the rest of your people to the base where we'll start training the New Casters, including your friend Bug. Then we'll move onto the next base, then the next, and the next until we have an army big enough to take on that son of a bitch who calls himself Chancellor. Then I'm going to kill him and anyone who stands beside him."

She stares at me cautiously, weighing my words like her life depends on it. And maybe she believes they do.

"I can do this with or without you Blue, but I want you with me. You're strong, and I need people like you I can trust and rely on." I hold out my hand. "So are you with me?"

Her gaze never break from mine. She waits, thinks, stares, and then she takes my hand and shakes her head. "You're one badass bitch Emery, but you better not get us all killed before you kill that asshole."

No. I won't. I may be one of the most powerful Casters in the world right now, but I'm not an idiot. If I've realized anything from this conversation, it's that Blue is right. I need people I can count on, and that means they need to be able to count on me. If they need a stone-hearted leader, then that's exactly who I'll be. What one more part in my never ending list of roles to play?