A Story Of Another Black Girl (Chapter 3)

Heartbreak, Heartache

She finishes job corps in 4 months total, gets her high school diploma, & her license in CPR, along with other Certifications. She finally gets her exit date & now it's time to go back. She misses her family, her friend, & she misses Jahleel. She was ready to get back, she knew once back it would be like they didn't skip a beat, it would be lime the very first time or at least that's what she figured. Once back home everything felt so surreal, she was 16 & already done with school. Her mama gave her hell, pressing her to get out of the house, go to college get a job, but one thing she never really was able to do was be a child. She never had a chance to live her life as a kid, do kid things, go out have fun & it be okay. Only thing was on her mind was having fun, chilling, & her friends. Most importantly she Jahleel, she hadn't heard from him since she's been back, she's afraid he's moved on until one day he reaches back out. They text through kik & he tells her he is in Illinois right now & won't be back for a week or two. So they keep texting growing close each other, exchanging I miss you's & telling each other they want to see each other. Then one day she slips & says she loved him, she can tell he doesn't know how to respond, he doesn't say anything just changes the subject. This was the second red flag but she proceeded & ignored it. They continue to talk until Jahleel is back, by this time she is now enrolled in Ivy Tech for nursing, & is receiving financial aid. She's beginning to fall in love with him, giving him money & buying things for him. This was the first boy she's ever spent money on & she knew she would regret it but she didn't care. It felt right at the time, they even had sex & it felt special, everything about him felt different & special. She didn't get the same temporary love feeling with regret at the end she felt with the rest it felt like they connected on a whole nother level. Mentally, they connected, but again Jahleel mentions he wants to be friends. He's confusing her head because he is saying one thing but his actions say another. He's showing her things she's not use to, & she fell in love with it, there's no going back now. They went together like peanut butter & jelly, everything was perfect she just had to be patient. Then one day he went back to Chicago & he would be there for another few weeks. She was feeling crushed she didn't have her partner in crime but she knew they would talk everyday, she was so sure she could change him, guess she was wrong. Because one day she finds his Facebook, & she feels her heart breaking at what she finds. It's somebody else, another girl in his cover picture & they appear to be together. There's instantly a sharp pain in her throat as she tries to hold back tears so she calls him, he answers & she asks the burning question... "Who is she, are you with her?", he claims he they not together, how he's a rapper he takes alot of pictures with females. She couldn't find anything else so she has no choice but to believe him. Everyday she watches his page, praying to find her to get answers to questions she already knows the answers too. Everyday there's nothing no name, no more pictures until one day she pops up under his comments & when she went to her page to see if it was the girl she feels the weight of the world crushing her down because she finds videos, pictures & more of them. They're were going out, getting rooms, going places together he never took her, & doing things with the girl he never did with her. She was hurt, confused but most of all disappointed because she knew better, she knew better to fall in love, she knew better then to trust again but she did. She'd fall so in love with him she was naive even with the proof in her face, she still believed him when he said he promise he wasn't with her. She saw it though & she knew better but soon he would be back to her so it wouldn't matter right. She felt she could never find that type of love again, she cut everybody off for him, was there for him when he needed it & she just wasn't ready to let it all go so she ignored it. Pretended she didn't see it & continued to talk to him, falling blindly deeper into him, infatuated with everything he told her. This is where the lies felt better then the truth again because she believed his lies knowing the truth. Months went on & her birthday was approaching again, with Valentines day only 2 days after. They had planned something to do, but he didn't know she also planned something for him. See she was getting her Aid check from school again & planned on ordering him things, he's mentioned about wanting before. So the day before her big night came, & while she's ordering his thing she felt a urging ache in her stomach. Like she was doin something wrong, as if the earth was warning her again, she knew when she got these feelings something in her life was going on. She couldn't get that other girl out her head, thinking about her over & over, thinking about thing Jahleel & that girl did, videos she seen replaying them in her head. She had to know the truth & get closure so she went to the girls page & decides to message me. She wishes she would have just forgot it because what the girl says next feels like a punch to the gut. The girl responds with her number, & she precedes to call her. She answers, & they talk for a while, the girl crying tells her, that her & Jahleel been together for 2 years. Those words knocks the wind out of her, but she has to keep it together, she has to get everything she came for. The girl is telling her about the dates, the money she sends him, & the sex they have, the I love you's they exchange sending her screenshots of messages. He never told her he loved her, he was soft & open with her but not soft like how he was with her, the shit stung reading. But what he does next hurt like a right hook to the mouth because when she confronts him he tells her. "She's nobody because I chose you over her any day".... Those words to this day replays in her head. They get off the phone & she is left in the darkness, hurt & taken back. She's disappointed she she swears she knew better but more hurt because she vents to him. He knows some things she been through & he just didn't give a fuck, & did it again. It feels lime history is repeating itself, because after he ends up leaving her for the other girl & they don't talk again. She's now left with feelings she never had for anybody not even Rico & with nobody to express them to. She has nobody to run to & again she is left to sleep with a broken heart, trying to recover from the hurt from yet another.