Through Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll (sequel to Sixx saved me)

11

I sat in the hotel room the next day. I still had the white hospital band on my right wrist. "Sixx, Joan Annell" I looked at it for a moment and twirled it around. Look at me. Twenty-three years old. Married with a child. Most moms would be proud. My mom doesn't talk to me. In fact, I don't know where my mom is. I sighed and looked at my wrist band again. "112 lbs. 23 years of age. Born 8/27/63."

Only 112 pounds... I've lost weight since I had Syd. It's probably not a good thing, but at least I haven't gained any. I looked up at the wall. It was a pale green. The corners had spider webs in them, the television was small and has dust on top of it. I sighed and stood up, walked over to Syd's crib and picked her up gently. She looked at me wide eyed and reached out to me, grasping my silver neccklace.

"Hello baby!" I cooed softly. "Ready to go home? Mommy is, mommy is ready to get home and relaxe. I know you are too, you've been a grumpy little girl since we came out here with daddy." I sighed heavily and layed down on the bed. Syd layed on my stomach looking at the ceiling, her little starfish hands reached out to nothing and grapsed at the air. I felt a surge of excitement in my body. Finally I get to go home. No more stinky motel rooms and sleepless nights. No more groupies giving me looks that could kill when I sit with Nikki. No more anything. Just peace and quiet at home. I closed my eyes for a second, thinking about what it was like two years ago. I was so much more fun. So much more loud. I didn't get annoyed as easily, or at all, really. I would drink and smoke and go out until four in the morning with Nikki and the boys. Before that I would drink until I passed out at Bill's house. He would come home amd I'd be to wasted to feel anything. I would sneek out when he was at work and buy weed. I'd smoke it and he wouldn't ever find out. He couldn't smell anything so I didn't have to worry about the smell. I didn't have to cook because I would never eat anything more than an orange or apple. Now I cook dinner every night that I'm at home. I didn't have friends, after I moved in with Bill, I lost all contact with my friends amd family. My family didn't care much about me anyway. I was the bad child. The outcast of the family. They didn't want me so I moved out and lived with Bill. Worst mistake of my life.

I sat up and turned Syd around to face me. She reached for something to hold, so I gave her my necklace to. I heard a knock on the door and slowly got up to answer it. I looked through the peep hole and saw Vince standing in the hallway. I unlocked it amd swung the door open quickly. I plastered a smile on my face and balanced Syd on my hip.

"Vince! It's wonderful to see you!" I said happily. He smiled at me and hugged me tightly, stroking Syd's cheek when he pulled away.

"Mind if I come in and talk for a bit?" He said. I nodded and moved out of the way, closing the dor behind him as he walked in. He went to the chairs in the corner of the room and sat down. I sat on the bed in criss cross and sat Syd on my lap.

"What's on your mind, Vince?" I said quietly,with a small smile on my face. He sighed and wrung his hands together.

"Ya' know, Joan... I was real worried about you when you were in the hospital." He looked up at me with a sad expression. "You're like a little sister to me. Nikki is like my brother. He was crushed when he came back to the motel. It was hard to see him that way. He didn't say anything. Just took Syd and hid in your room. When I got in his room he was laying on the bed with her. He had tears running down his face and his pillow was all wet. He didn't really talk much until you got out today. He didn't really say anything to anyone but Syd. I haven't seen him eat anything since..." he looked at his hands and started bouncing his leg. I felt myself want to cry. I tried fighting my tears back, losing horrifically. Tears fell from my eyes lile a waterfall.

"He... It makes me feel so guilty. He never takes any kind of tragedy well. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing him like that. I was so selfish. I have a husband and child to take care of and love and I decided to try and kill myself." My head drooped down and I rubbed my eyes furiously. I felt Vince sit next to me and put his arm around me. I leaned into him and held Syd close to my chest. He rubbed my arm comfortingly and shushed me.