Sanders Sides Angst

[ 1 ] { V I R G I L }

• AU: Controlling the body/Mindscape
• Ship(s): none
• Characters: Virgil, Patton, Logan, Roman, Remus, Deceit
• Song(s): Suicidal Thoughts by Josh A, Panic Room by Au/Ra
• Words: 1357

[ T R I G G E R W A R N I N G ]
Mention of d*pr*sion and anx*ety, self-h*rm, swe*ring

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Nothing was weird today, Thomas had went to therapy and everyone, especially Logan, was waiting for him to get home. Something about that weird calmness scared Virgil, it didn't feel right at all, he didn't know what it was but he thinks that- no, he knows something must be wrong. After all everyone was scared of the test results Thomas got today, Patton was really quiet, Logan was constant mumbling to himself and Roman was being more and more clumsy as time passes.
Virgil knows that it'll be alright, that he is just making it worse then it actually is, but still... something felt wrong.

As soon as Thomas locked the door behind him, Virgil could feel a darkness falling over them. Thomas stood in his normal spot in the living room and he sighed. "Alright guys, show up already." He said, Roman left immediately, after him Patton went, Logan and Virgil just kept standing there. "Virgil," Logan said, "your eye shadow." He handed Virgil a small mirror, Virgil looked in it and what he saw genuinely scared him.

His eye shadow was so dark and so much today, the others know he can't control it and the more anxious he is, the more intense and wide spread his eye shadow gets, now it was all over his cheeks and it was completely black. Virgil swallowed and let out a soft: "fuck." In the meantime Logan already disappeared, Virgil looked behind him to only to see a dark pink figure in the distance, he let out a soft "no," and disappeared too.

"As I was saying Thomas, your me-" Logan was already giving Thomas the facts as Roman cuts him of. "Look!" He says, "it's the freaking out boy himself!" A smile appeared on Romans face, so did one on Virgils. Virgil glanced at Thomas and he could see that Thomas was smiling through his panick right now.

"Well since you're all here now, I'm going to tell you the results of the test." Even though everyone was already silent, it felt like everyone became ten times more silent when Thomas said that. "The doctors diagnosed me with anxiety."
"Well that isn't really weird," Roman spitted out, "we have our own hot topic after all!"

Virgil smiled, he knew he shouldn't have worried that much, of course Thomas would get diagnosed with anxiety, he was here after all. "and depression." If Virgil wasn't paying attention to Thomas he wouldn't have heard it, neither would one of the others. They all fell silent, you could see the fear in their eyes.

Virgils sudden wave of happiness disappeared with the moment Thomas had said that, he felt the panic rise in him again. "I- I- I have to go." He quickly announced and sunk away. The worst part of this whole thing is that the others will think he is depression, while it's just a side they haven't met yet.

As soon as Virgil was back in the mindscape, he rushed to Deceits room. He opened the door and right before Deceits desk he stopped, Deceit was sitting behind it, reading a book. "Ah Virgil, I was expecting you." Deceit says and Virgil got angrier with every word Deceit said. "Save me the lies Deceit. Where. Is. Depression."

"I don't know." Virgil grabbed Deceit by his throat and brought his face close to Deceits. "I. Said. Save. The. Lies. For. Later." Virgil whispered, "tell me where Depression is or I'll fucking kill you."

"Fine." Deceit says and he coughs. "He moved his room, the door is next to Logans, knock on it three times like this," Deceit slowly knocks on the wood of his desk to demonstrate how to knock on the door of Depression, "if you're lucky he'll let you in."

Virgil ran out of Deceits room and slammed the door behind him. He ran to Logans room and stopped right next to his door, all you could see was wall, but Virgil knew better, Depression could trick people into thinking there's something while there's nothing at all. He slowly knocked on the wall three times and like he predicted it didn't sound like a wall at all, more like a a wooden door.

The door opened and Virgil walked inside, Depression was nowhere to be seen. "Anxiety," Depression suddenly walked out of the darkness, if people didn't know Depression was Depression they would believe he was the softest of them all, pastel pink hoodie, pink bow tie in his hair and pink hearts on his cheek made him look like an innocent person, if Virgil knew one thing for sure that Depression wasn't innocent at all.

"I was already expecting you." Depression continued, his smile was something to make you want to throw up. "I did everything you wanted me to do, why are you still hurting Thomas?!" Virgil asked while the anger rised in him. "Show me your arm.";The pink side commanded and Virgil did as he was told, taking his jacket of and showing both of his arms, cuts all over them, some of them fresh and some of them already turned into scars, Depression starts counting them, slowly, pressing on each on of them causing Virgil a lot of pain. "39, you're missing one. Make it. Now."

Depression handed Virgil a blade and he pointed out the place where Virgil should make it, Virgil sighed and put the blade on his skin. "Wait!" Depression said. "I want to do it. Hand me back the blade. Quick!" Virgil handed back the blade and gave Depression his wrist. Depression grabbed his wrist thought, making sure Virgil wasn't going anywhere.

"Have you finished the letters I asked you to write?" Depression hissed at Virgil. "Yes." Virgil said, worried. "Alright then," Depression said and he cut Virgil as deep as possible, blood flowing out of his arm Virgil was screaming with pain. "Without you everything will be much easier."

[ R O M A N S P O V ]

They all were worried about Virgil, after he just went away after hearing the test results, Roman has offered to go and take a look by Virgils room in the mindscape, knowing he would be there. "Vee?" He asked as he knocked on the door. No response. "Virgil?" He asked again and knocked, still no response. Knocking turned into banging and asking turned into shouting. Suddenly the door flew open, Roman has made his way into Virgils room. Now you need to know if a side feels a strong emotion they can actually force their way in other peoples rooms, some of them easier than others.

When Roman walked in there was no Virgil to be seen, he wasn't laying on his bed while scrolling through Tumblr and blasting some weird emo music through his headphones and that would've been why he didn't hear him. He wasn't sitting by his desk, drawing. The bathroom door was a bit opened and light came through. "Verge?" Roman asked in a soft voice while walking towards to the bathroom, "are you in there?" He pushed the door open and what he saw made him crying instantly.

Virgil was laying in the bathtub, his right arm was filled with blood and his thee-shirt was drained with blood, Roman sat down and puts his hands for his mouth letting out a scream. He stood up, going to get the others when he saw it, three letters, each of them addressed to one of the side. Roman grabbed his and hold it tight, he looked in the mirror and saw how pale he was and it scared him.

He walked back in Virgils room, on his way to get the others. But a person was sitting in Virgils chair, he had pastel pink clothes and he seemed, happy. Could this be an other side? "Who are you?!" Roman asked frightening of what the pink side would do. "Oh who I am isn't important dear, what's important is what I am..."

"Fine." Roman said. "Then what are you?"
"I'm here to help you Roman," it scared Roman that the pink side knew his name,
"I'm Depression."

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Boi that was a bad idea.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed it!
I was thinking of a trait the new dark side could be and we all have our theories on depression being a side don't we? Anyway he very bad and yes you're allowed to stab him.