he's on my mind

Ethan

I had been laying in bed all day, feeling sick and terrible and gross and tired and so done with the world. I just wanted to wash off the gross feeling that surrounded me from the congestion and sore throat; I had opted to skip school and I didn't want to feel completely unproductive for the day- the least I could do was get clean.

As the hot water glazed my skin, my mind turned to Ethan. The worst part about missing school was that I didn't get to see him smile and hear him laugh as we read about Henry VIII in history class or when he made a basket in the lunchroom trash can. Replaying those images in my head brought a smirk to my face as I scrubbed my hair, wishing he cared as much as I did. When I stepped out of the shower, being hit by the chill of the cold air just became a reminder that he wasn't there to warm me. I'd soon get over it, I hope.

As I pulled on sweatpants, I looked in the mirror. Staring back at my reflection, I sighed. Why am I doing this to myself when I already feel like shit? I don't need this. I ran my hands through my wet hair and a mascara wand over my eyelashes.

A buzz came from my phone. Ethan's name appeared on the screen.

My heart jumped for a second- weird, I know, but he's never snapchatted me before. Had I crossed his mind at least for split moment? Sliding open my phone, I took in a deep breath of air, worried at what it could be. It had to be important, right? Maybe one of my friends was hurt and someone asked him to let me know. Maybe his friends sent me insults from his phone. I hit the 'open' button, and my insane worry disappeared. He was sitting in his brother's car, the goofiest expression plastered across his face.

'abby told me u r sick so feel better ur the best'

I jumped. For real, my feet left the ground for several whole seconds while my eyes remained glued to the screen. For most people, this wouldn't matter at all, but for me it meant that he cared at least a little bit and didn't think I was some weird chick who sat next to him in history. It was a tiny victory in the middle of an utterly shitty day.

I jumped again at the sound of Ollie's bark, but this time it was out of fear and not excitement. That dog always scares the crap out of me; he had predicted the doorbell ringing before it had even made a sound, but I heard it soon enough. I was confused- if I'm home alone, it's either someone here to see me or to drop off a package. Most likely the latter, considering my popularity level combined with my friends' inability to drive.

I flew down the stairs, jamming one hand in my pocket and quickly running the other through my (still) soaking hair. I froze for a second in anticipation of who would be behind the door, but Ollie did not react in the same way at all. He jumped from side to side, excited at the thought of a new human to play with.

Unfreezing, I opened the door - and froze again. The entire world went silent as I realized who was impossibly staring back at me. Ethan's eyes met mine and he smiled. I smiled back at him, the entire world reanimating around us.

In that moment, a small shaped raced from behind me and bolted out the door.

"Ollie!" I called, suddenly panicking and turning my focus away from the boy standing in front of me.

"Oh- wa-wait don't worry I got it!" I heard Ethan shout next to me and carefully shove a warm metal thermos into my hands. I watched him bolt after Ollie, catching him after only a few steps. He pulled the little furball into his embrace and planted a few kisses on his face. I couldn't help but smile larger than I think I ever had before. Walking back towards me, he stopped at the door.

"Uhh.. come inside?" I smiled sheepishly and carried the thermos towards the kitchen, as he placed Ollie on the floor and followed closely behind. Ollie shot under my feet and I began to fall quickly towards the ground- until I felt a warm hand against my ribs, steadying me. I turned my head slightly and felt his cheek against mine, and his warm breath on my face as I heard him whisper, "Careful, there."

I smiled for the millionth time and turned back around towards the kitchen. Setting the thermos down, I stopped for a second. My mind finally realized that it had to process what was happening at that moment. He's in my house, in my kitchen, holding soup, holding Ollie, holding me. When I looked up at him and met his eyes, I think he understood my confusion.

"When I heard you were sick, I got worried and thought it best to bring something warm for your throat- this is my mom's best chicken soup. She says it cures everything, but I think it just makes you feel nice until you feel, you know, better." He blushed, and I had this incredible urge to run to him and throw my arms around his neck to thank him a million times over.

But I stood still.

"That's... probably the sweetest thing in the world," I slowly responded, "I don't know how to thank you."

"Maybe, I should-"

"-stay?" I interrupted, my heart in my throat. Here stood this boy, so capable of breaking my heart, and I had just decided to hold it out for him and hand him the hammer. But he didn't say what I expected him to.

"I was so hoping you'd ask... my mom always says company and Netflix is the best way to get better."

"Better than chicken soup?" I smirked at him, and he matched my facial expression. He looked me dead in the eyes, and said:

"Cuddling is always better than chicken." He was so serious, I wanted to laugh but I couldn't bring myself to. For some reason, it felt wrong to meet his grave expression and utter silence with giggles. Until his face broke and he bent over, laughing so hard he was almost completely silent. I let my laughter flow out of my mouth in response. He stood back up, and moved closer to me. Wrapping his hands around my face, he placed a soft kiss on my head. I thought that I'd die right then and there, but I'm so glad that I didn't. "Let's get you better, ok?" He whispered, pressing his nose against mine. I nodded, grabbing his hand and interlocking his fingers with mine. I led him into the living room, letting him sit on the couch and wrap a blanket around him. He held out his arms and I happily sat next to him and curled up by his side, tangling my legs with his.

I handed him the remote, and remained quiet. While he flipped through Christmas movies, I let my mind wander. What the hell was happening? He finally landed on a movie, relaxed back into the couch, and wrapped his other arm around me. I fell asleep at total peace.