he's on my mind

Ethan #3

I heard the sound of my front door opening from downstairs as I layed curled up under my covers. At first, I was confused- I hadn't been expecting anyone. After a second, I realized that I was mistaken; Ethan had told me he was coming over tonight to hang out. His face had lit up when he told me about some new interactive movie on Netflix and a weighted blanket that he got for Christmas.

"Anna?"

"Upstairs, Eth!"

His soft footsteps filled the silence of the nearly empty house. Suddenly, his face appeared in the doorway. His pace quickened and he ran towards me. I knew what was coming.

He yelled out as he dived onto my bed, landing directly on top of me. I could feel his weight pressing down on me. "Ethan!" I squealed. He laughed and the corners of his eyes crinkled, his brown eyes lit up like fireworks. He planted a kiss on my forehead, and my right cheek, and my left cheek, and finally my lips. I opened my eyes so that I could examine his. Sitting up, I took the weighted blanket in my hands and ran my fingers over the fibers. Somehow, my eyes found their way back to his. He was watching me examine the blanket, almost examining me himself. I loved that so much about him.

It took a second for me to see them. Three small purple marks just beneath his jawline. My fingers reached up towards them, lightly brushing the marks. "Eth..." I began. His eyes met mine, curious at what I was about to say.

"Yeah?"

"Your neck... it-it's covered in hickeys." I began to shake a bit.

"No. No-no," he shook his head violently, "They're just bruises, I promise."

"Do you think I'm some sort of dumbass, Eth? I know what a fucking bruise looks like. That's not it. You know what? I only want to know one thing. What girl was worth it?"

"Not worth it, never worth it... I was drunk, please don't be mad, it wasn't like that, Elizabeth initiated it and not me..."

I wasn't surprised. Eth had been slipping away for a while now. We aren't in the same social group, so it was inevitable. This entire time we had only been delaying what was bound to happen, but I couldn't really believe it. This boy who I was so in love with, who I thought was so in love with me, compromised that love. I guess it wasn't love after all.

What I really couldn't believe was that he expected me to be ok with it all.

"Get out," I whispered at first, "Get out." He raised his head to look at me as if I was going to take back what I had just demanded. "Get out," I began to yell, "Leave!"

I was now standing, screaming in his face. My hands flew to my cheeks as I realize the amount of tears coming from my eyes. He looked as if he was about to say something, but I held up my hands. "Eth... how am I supposed to ever trust you again?"

"Anna-"

"-no. Leave."

He left.