I'm sorry

Chapter 2

Cas swallowed hard, taking the tea and opening it, placing a bag in his mug. Avoiding eye contact with his friend, he nodded. "Okay." he said, feeling small. Trying to change the subject, he mumbled, "Want to watch a movie?"

"Sure," Dean said, "What did you have in mind?" He watched as Cas made his tea.

Cas stirred his tea thoughtfully. "I want to watch a documentary..," he said, glancing up. "But if you don't want to, I'm game for whatever." In reality, he was just exhausted. He was finding that he never had any energy lately, and spending a couple hours on the couch sounded heavenly.

"Anything is good," Dean said, "What kind of documentary were you thinking?" Dean knew something was wrong, really wrong. Cas hardly ate anything was always cold and never seemed to have enough energy. He really wanted to just hug him and hold him so he knew that he was there.

Cas gave a small smile. "I like the space documentary." he said, holding his warm mug In both hands. Padding over to the couch, he flopped down, sagging into the cushions. "Damn." he muttered. He'd forgotten to put the disc in. "Can you get it?" he asked, grinning - the expression not quite reaching his eyes. "I'm too lazy."

"Er, yeah," Dean said crouching by the cabinet and scanning the movie titles. When he finally found the right one he turned on the DVD player and popped it in. He walked to the couch and plopped next to the smaller boy, 

"You need anything before we start?"Cas shook his head, then pulled his legs up onto the couch, and put the fabric of his sweatshirt over top of them, curling into the warmth. 

"No, I'm good." he said, curling into Dean's side. His friend was so warm. Sipping at his tea, he smiled, enjoying the film.Dean wrapped his arm around the smaller boy and involuntarily kissed the top of his head. The documentary was pretty interesting just not his thing. Dean looked at Cas and observed him as he watched the space documentary with delight. Smiling at the embrace, Cas watched the film, enjoying it, even though he'd seen it at least 7 times before. It made him happy. Sighing when it ended, he sat quietly, not wanting to move.They sat quietly for awhile. Dean spoke up, 

"So uh what now?" He loved the feeling of holding Cas in his arms. Cas the cutest people Dean ever meet.  He seemed so curious and excited. Not to mention how adorable he is with animals.Cas shrugged. He didn't feel like doing anything. Checking his watch, he saw that it was around supper time. He needed to get Dean out somehow, so that he could get away with not eating.

"I need to go um, have supper with Charlie." he said, not making eye contact with his friend.

"Oh, mind if I tag along? I'm getting pretty hungry myself," Dean said ignoring the fact that Cas seemed frantic to get him to leave. Dean knew and wished Cas would tell him what was bugging him. "Unless you don't want me around anymore..." he trailed off.Cas swallowed, shaking his head. 

"No... it's not that. It's just um - she had something to tell me. It seemed secret" he lied, feeling a twinge of guilt In his gut. It was better this way. He told himself. Better than hating himself later when he'd eaten.Dean looked down at his friend. He lifted Cas' head to look at him with his finger.

"Cas? What's wrong with you? Are you sure your feeling okay?" Dean asked worry filling his green eyes. Cas was so small now, so fragile and Dean didn't know what to do.Cas avoided making eye contact with Dean, unsure if what to do. He didn't want to keep lying to his friend, but he didn't know what else to do. Shaking his head, he mumbled, 

"Nothing is wrong. I promise. I feel fine." 3 more lies. "I need to go." Cas muttered. Standing up, he walked from the room, feeling a little faint.Dean bit his lip, Watching as his friend got up and walked away from him. Cas started to wobble a little as he walked, like he was about to pass out. 

Dean jumped to his feet walking quickly to his friend, "Cas you're not okay. Come sit back down."