The first ray of sunlight struck the courtyard, and that one beam of light suddenly revealed that everywhere else was all shadows.
Despite their protests, I stayed put the entire night in the courtyard, gazing emptily into the distance as I tuned out their words. In my mind played countless scenarios of how I would finally meet my birth parents. Would they be proud of my choice?
Upon seeing how stubborn I was, the court clerk rushed back to report the news, a near-murderous scowl flashing across his face when he thought I wasn't looking.
From there, it became all a blur.
The people from the court arrived with an imperial edict. With them were Northerners with harsh accents and fierce looks, and some donned battle scars with pride. Considering we had been a vassal kingdom to Northern Zhou for too many years to count, seeing the occasional Northern merchant was no cause for surprise. But those people spoke our tongue and were amiable in nature while these men's only expressions were permanent glares.
So this is what my future husband would be like, I thought. To be quite honest, it wouldn't be much of a change from if I wed Brother Liu. Speaking to both would be akin to playing music for a cow. It would be the same silent nights by myself, just with an additional pinch of barbarism to keep me on my toes.
"Greetings, honorable court officials and foreign warriors," I greeted them politely with a faint smile on my face after they finished reading the edict.
They obviously did not expect me to take it so well.
"This Princess is made for the North! She has none of that clinginess of a typical Southern girl!" a Northern ambassador exclaimed, nodding as if pleased.
Behind me, my aunt had already fainted. My nails dug into my flesh. No, I had to go. This was my destiny. Madame Liu was right. How many people could I save with medicine? If I wed, at the end of this joke of a life, I could at least say that it wasn't all for nothing.
Before I knew it, I was sitting on the carriage they brought with them. My aunt and uncle accompanied me in a smaller carriage behind mine. I asked the guards to switch the two, but it was apparently against imperial customs.
The seat was cushiony and silky, unlike any material I was familiar with. A bit stunned, I ran my coarse hands over it, feeling the surrealness of it all. For someone who has never ridden a horse before, never would I have dreamt of sitting in one of these.
"Princess, are you ready?" For a moment, I didn't realize that they were asking me.
"We may go now."
I lifted the curtain and looked out the window to catch one last glimpse of the past. By then, a crowd had gathered with pretty much everyone from this side of the city. Among them were my mentor and Madame Liu. Even Brother Liu came out, a stick propping his injured leg. From the looks of it, his injury was not that serious. But it was too late now anyway.
The carriage started moving, and my house soon became no more than a speck in the distance. We turned the corner. This route was all too familiar. Soon, we would pass by the apothecary. Thinking of it now, I only wish I had stayed a bit longer, but who would have known that it would be the last time I set foot in there?
No, I cannot regret this. I set down the curtain before the apothecary loomed into view. This was my choice. I could save my country during a time of need and show my parents that I knew the meaning of responsibility. Even if I never enjoyed the life of a princess, I would share the burdens of one.
The tapping rhythm of hoof steps and the slow swaying motion of the carriage proved to be an excellent combination for sleep, especially for one who stayed up for the entire night. Maybe my parents would be there to greet me when I arrived. And perhaps I could stay a few days with them before...
The world gradually slipped from my consciousness.
When I woke again, it was to a familiar voice and blinding sunlight.
"Princess, welcome to the palace." Underneath the kind words was an edge of bitterness.
As my eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness, much to my disappointment, the dark spots revealed the court official who had visited the night before. No one within view could have been my parents.
The carriage had stopped at a side door, and I was lead in alone. I turned around to see my aunt and uncle smiling at me with encouragement, but the door closed before I could wave back. All around me, the palace walls formed a maze of riches. However, from here, all you could see were the towering palaces and a tiny bit of untrapped sky.
"Make sure to kneel before the emperor and not look up until instructed. Always know your place and refer to yourself as 'humble servant' and the emperor as 'Your Majesty.'" the court official instructed coldly. "One last thing, be careful not to offend Princess MingZhu." He purposefully dragged the last phrase out, emphasizing it.
Of the countless scenarios I imagined, this had not been one of them. But in the palace, I suppose formality was a must. Obviously, it would not be as lax as my uncle's home.
I did as commanded, looking down the whole time. The hall was huge, seeming to span for an eternity. No one spoke, and all that could be heard was the rustling sound of my skirt brushing against the floor. Finally, I reached the base of the steps.
"Your Humble Servant bows before Your Majesty," I kneeled on the floor, pressing my head hard against the ground. No one came to excuse me, much less help me up.
Finally, a girlish giggle sounded. "Father, look at her. She's praying to you like she would honor a god at a temple. That's hardly the motions of a princess. She's been kneeling for quite a while now, don't forget about her!"
Hearing those words, though I had not been excused, I looked up to see a man in a dragon robe and a girl of my age.
The man, though not elderly, had countless strands of gray hair. His robe was intricate but not flaunting. Though his eyes were set on me, he was looking past me, as if I didn't exist. It was clear that he was the emperor. In just a few moments of interaction, I realized that I was wrong to think of him as my father. He made it quite clear that he was only the emperor.
The girl, however, was the complete opposite, radiating with such energy that it nearly pained my eyes. Her dress was full of embroidered golden silk, and one thread probably would have cost more than an entire year's worth of work for my uncle. She must have been Princess MingZhu. As her name suggested, she was a shining pearl and always given the best in the entire world.
"Father, you must go to the court session. The officials are all waiting for you," she smiled at the emperor, clinging on to his arm and guiding him to the door. "I will show elder sister around. I think you'll agree that she needs some lessons on etiquette."
His gaze never left me, but it was still empty. "Welcome back." That was all he spared for me before leaving the room.
YOU ARE READING
Crocodile Tears
Historical Fiction"Let us meet again in hell." Before she became the infamous seductress. Before he was the most hated tyrant. Before it all fell apart... Born a curse, she was cast away from the royal family. But when the kingdom needed an alliance, she was the one...
