Crocodile Tears

Ch. 8: Saying Goodbye

"Wake up!" Someone nudged my arm.

"Five more minutes..." I mumbled as a sense of drowsiness overtook me.

Grabbing at the nearest thing I could find, I buried my face into a pillow. The coolness of the pillow's jade beads made for... Wait a second, jade beads?

I slowly eased my eyes open and took in my surroundings. Instead of the adobe plaster that I was used to waking up to, on top of me was an intricately-carved wooden ceiling.

Pinching myself, only then did I realize that the blur of scenes that flashed before my eyes were not all a dream.

"Princess, hurry now! All of the officials are assembling by the palace door! You must be ready to head off!"

My head was still throbbing, and I heard only half of what the maid was saying. Alcohol was indeed the elixir of temporary forgetfulness followed with doubled pain. If only I could escape forever.

I propped myself up straight and reached for the warm towel set on the golden tray before me. But I soon stopped myself, remembering Princess MingZhu's "kind" advice on how to not lose face as a princess. "Help me prepare." Hearing the coldness of the command, I paused before adding, "Please."

For the next hour, maids rushed in and out, dressing me and cleansing me. At first, I flinched at their every touch, unused to the feeling, but soon it all numbed.

The whole time, my gaze was fixated on the bronze mirror before me. Or to be exact, my eyes were drawn to the distant stranger in the reflection. Not only was her usually simple hairstyle framed by countless jewels, she also wore an eerily-calm expression I had never seen before. The maids tied the final knot on her gown, and she looked every bit like a princess.

Silently bidding farewell to my past self, I closed my eyes and embraced my new identity.

A harsh knock on the door dragged me back to the present. But before I could say to come in, the door already opened with a creak. Looking in the mirror, I could see that it was the court servant who delivered the message that night, the same who seemed like he despised me.

"I thought you passed out for good," he sneered, walking towards me. "Don't keep Empress waiting. Every second means a lasting moment for her." Contrasting with the glares of hatred he casted towards me, interestingly enough, his voice softened at the mention of my mother.

If before, I would have rushed out, but today, I took small dainty steps as the weight of the dress dragged me down. Or rather, the significance behind the bejeweled costume reminded me that I was no longer an individual but a delegate for an entire kingdom.

My mother was standing by the door, her eyes red and puffy as she handed me a misshaped red bean pastry. For a moment, I held it in my palms, treasuring it as if it was worth the whole world. Gingerly, I took a small bite into it, one hand cupped under to catch any crumbs.

"Delicious," I said after swallowing the handmade pastry. It was a bit too dry, a portion sticking to the roof of my mouth. Still, to me, it was the best I had ever eaten. It was as if I could taste the hours of hard work my mother invested into it.

I nibbled on it again, trying to leave as much as I could so that it didn't all disappear at once. The sweet aftertaste lingered, and though I knew I shouldn't and that it was against royal decency, I licked my lips.

"I was going to prepare a box for your journey, but the rest burned," she explained, pausing momentarily to wipe her eyes with a handkerchief. To think she had asked me about burning the apothecary.

My uncle, aunt, and brother all joined us for the walk to the palace gates. Most noticeably, my aunt's eyes were swollen shut. I tried telling her what remedy to implement, but she would have none of it and instead talked over me, not caring at all that I was no longer her YouShi.